My typing fingers are way more resistant than their writing equivalents so before I'll go back to scribbling silly amount of words for my work Diploma I solemnly promised to finish this month (I make all my resolutions rather impulsively) it is officially confirmed I'm staying here tonight and then we can sort out the dinner. Before it happens I'll guide you through a debate in my head. It's not common to talk about religion, not when we just recently injected a festive ornament to every space available in more than a relaxed manner. I did so myself. And will recreate it again this snowless winter however... For me it’s hard not to question religious phenomenon, having developed skeptical and critical thinking raising a child without religion used to make me a little uncomfortable. Just like raising her with one in mind. It's the story I'm allowing myself to come to terms with because I don't want safe, easy living in order to fit in. I was raised a Catholic with a lot of pressure put on attending service every Sunday. Effectively made involved in the rituals no effort was put on explaining it or experiencing it the deep spiritual way. A lot later rethinking and analyzing life and our rituals has pushed me to this phase of life when exuberant curiosity about everything strikes again. I'm not happy to decide, to label myself. Not believing in god means not believing in anything? I simply refuse to think so. I do believe in good in all of us, me creating the world around however that is still a work in progress. And Nadia will have her whole life to think about it, she may never decide and that's okay.
P.S. I love the tradition of putting the tree up every year or else it wouldn't be Christmas. I keep recreating childhood magic. Is it hypocritical? Nothing that makes us happy should be avoided, rules, principles exist to separate. I'll excitedly share holy bread, eat Kosher food, sit with you and your gods. As one human being happy to be among others. x
