September 2015 - ║today my way║

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I've been blessed with yet another boy to use my auntie's charm on. What is it universe? You must be convinced I'm doing a pretty decent job in loving. Rest assured, the demand for joy out of simple presence is strong and calling. Babies smell just the same in real life as they do in my mind. Wriggling toes know the same rhythm if only there are enough hours in a day to take it in. And when you await for one arriving, the place in your heart has always been ready, upon first contact arms know the routine by heart, they are the place of pure comfort. There's the first night we remember, the many feeds and a milky breath. The moment eyes actually see us and not just familiarize themselves with. And when they don't just see us but look for intentionally.

Together with a fabulous company, Butterfly Your World I celebrate the arrival of a little boy I call my cousin, little sparkle, the youngest family member to date only just realizing how loved he is. And I'm happy those sunny moccasins are still wide enough for months of motionless adventures before feet are ready to roam free to practice at each opportunity. I can't believe we're here already with his photos occupying my laptop's storage space. There are always enough reasons to finding a pair of feet that can benefit from wearing featured footwear.

P.S. Go check the website - organic, vegan, softest to the touch little treasures will not stay in your shopping cart another mealtime and with the offer of Buy One Get Second Pair 50% Off I'd raid my closet in making more room. What do you say? x

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This is a post of what we do best when we're at our most productive. Or I should have actually started that this is what Nadia does best but I assign some cutting and attaching tasks to myself so yes, we're all in it. School started last week so in slow motion everything falls into place, hair familiarizes itself with abundance of elastics, later then usual nights are far and almost forgotten. Every morning before we see the sunlight the rushing begins -- sleep washed from faces, packing daily essentials, making important hair decisions and checking school uniform for stains and tears. We do watch early kids channel too while influencing some cereal and tea. And off for the bus we go, scooter in hand and a book bag hanging from the stronger shoulder. We like our mornings, predictable and manageable on most days because there's always a room for chaos if you're aware of it or not.

Every time new chapter in our lives begins, excitement merges with aggravation, all parties included. New expressions emerge, words flow rapidly or are purposefully denied. We get it each time it occurs, most times a cuddle and a whisper is all that can help to pause and start inhaling rhythmically. Now and again I point to Damian we get a taste of what it will look like when Nadia's a teenager - against everybody and everything in sight. But we all get stressed at least five times during the course of a day struggling to come out untouched, why being so meticulous to ensure our children are safe from even a dash of cortisol? Handling it right is the answer, installing a way of dealing with meltdowns as a result of regular situations and starting school is one of them. Having to wake up brisk is one of them. Eating within a set period of time is one of them. But I like the way it's going, we're all adjusting trying to make it easy on everybody (for mama skipping eyeliner and a blush most times does the trick).

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Before school invited all sorts of new behaviour we looked through a vast amount of drawings Nadia was involved in this year. Pile of shapes and hand made books awaited their big moment (she's simply obsessed - glue, stapler, sellotape, you name it, she's used it all to create one and only publications). I've been collecting lots of things that belonged to Nadia - her first pair of shoes, favourite cup she no longer uses, first tooth omitted by a Tooth Fairy so it's understandable I'd preserve the art that circulates in abundance around here. We've done it before, this time I introduced a folder full of clear pouches for things of irregular size and shape and of course simple binding a pile of drawings never gets old. One day I want to organize it and lay all her treasures together - for me to look at when she's studying away or traveling or just sitting next door painting nails. All memories locked in a Moroccan straw basket or wooden box upholstered in pink put away on the highest shelf next to hat boxes and Christmas decorations because the most wonderful part of all this is, it's priceless because it's hers. Excitement preserved in the best of ways. My take on a treasure.

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Is it still summer? I would not know snuggled in thick knit and inspecting my woolly sock situation. I'd rather be sitting on a warm beach suffering invasion of pebbles near my feet and not holding onto warm mug of coffee like a desperado. Glad I have enough photographic evidence this place was once dry and inviting. Here's a little scroll party for you if you need reassurance to function well in days to come or maybe you're just convinced enough the summer never came and I can show you otherwise. Because I totally can.

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Lulworth Cove! A place you take everybody you want to astonish to because look at the views, the colour of the water and you'll never want to slow down pressing the shutter button. It's ideal all year round, less neat-hairdo friendly in the autumn when the wind proceeds with less care than any other season but surprisingly for someone seeking visual pleasures - it's still exciting. For such a beautiful place I find it rather quiet and mostly visited by local population. Is it due to being hidden outside the beaten, traffic-ruled routes or promising exhausting experience climbing great number of uneven steps to reach any quiet spot? Yes, probably. Most definitely but it only makes it more pleasant to soak it up knowing only the bravest and fittest can survive here. But no, it's the total opposite - everybody feels at home here, right up the cliffs or low down at sea level. It's just a place everybody seems to enjoy.

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It was a fun day with Damian and Nadia and all the pebbles she could fit in my shoes. There was a swimming session, badminton game and tireless requests of climbing more hills to look down on people in a ridiculous scale so we obliged each time we went yet another mile. This girl is unstoppable thanks to our walking-everywhere-possible routine. I'll be sad to skip some of our routes when I pass my driving test soon but hopefully only on dreariest of days otherwise it's just our water bottle, sturdy shoes (tons of sparkles included) and lots of hiking to do. Just recently the two of us walked an astonishing 3 miles from point A to B and if you consider still quite small feet, that's an achievement.

And speaking of steering skills, I'm off to injecting my brain with the highway code and hundreds of official questions I will find useful of answering pretty soon. Enjoy today and any day, friends! x

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Recently and frequently mood swings have become a common occurrence in my daily routine. I guess to remain unaltered during the course of day, a week or month is an impossible task, things hit us constantly with enough potential to brighten or spoil the moment without even trying and nobody's immune to it. I get it, I can put it in big letters on the front on my cropped shirt - I get it, Universe! But when it happens first thing in the morning before I even realize I'm capable of accomplishing a great deal prior to first coffee, it's striking. If I'm in no hurry to proceed with tasks life and dinner depend on, it's worrying. Tolstoy exclaimed a while ago that all happy people are alike but each unhappy person is unhappy in her own way. What an old-fashioned genius talking about beating ourselves up the unique way, torturing with things others wouldn't notice even when pointed to - our own inarticulate reasons of avoiding radiance even on a clearest of days.

Then one day while sun glared over my windows with its all strength, I came across a caption to one of many photos uploaded to ever-so-overloaded servers of social media that stopped me in my tracks almost immediately. It was rather long paragraph so you make sure you read it in chunks paying attention to familiar context. A successful lifestyle blogger and author of recently published book of essays says in an honest tone of eloquent English that she struggles - with perfectionism, her body image, sense of self worth and purpose as a woman, as a mother, as a wife. It goes on for a good quarter of an hour if you're trying to inject each sentence with its true meaning. You make connections, compare the familiar and a realization of how similar you feel creeps up almost immediately. She struggles to feel proud in her body yet her style related articles gather exceptional following, she has no idea what she's doing on social media, or online or in life while everything that she really does settles for nothing less than exciting and tongue-wagging. In the eye of an aspiring, still anonymous writer - she's miles away from unsuccessful online persona yet she admits the struggle while social media get their mention a lot.

I decided to dig deeper in the matter looking for clues and expecting a revelation. Her remarkably thought-out interiors are a true resemblance of - what shall I say - every respectable Pinterest account with a great followers' base which I admit to fall under the spell of too - minimalist space coming to life through cleverly arranged furniture and relevant foliage. Her clothes speak words of comfort and dedication as I optimistically roam through my closet for reassurance; wait until I'll tell you about her cool son, language I force myself to have more comprehension of, the overall picture she paints tirelessly for Internet to copy and paste. I'm not a hater, far from it, as a long time amused supporter I'm in the process of understanding the phenomenon of our times such loved and generally speaking woman that has it all feels inadequate, not enough, with stress causing her drastic weight drop everybody's been picking on. As many supporters, equally many haters.

I feel I'm nearing the same standards she's struggling to live up to - with almost similar taste in decor and footwear, experiencing equal amount of anxiety and ongoing irrational fear over every should, must and could. The minimal trend here is totally irrelevant as we could be discussing the vintage or boho depending on what's hot and desired turning us into its truest enthusiasts. We like what we know and see regularly; the masculine, effortless trend of boyfriend jeans and beaten up leather jacket I avoided like a plague in the past - now, show me a pair of distressed denim and we're pals until new trend rolls around. Such human brain works, you can't argue with evolution and covers of readable magazines. It happens naturally but committing to a trend takes up a lot of energy that causes anxiety and doubt. A struggle with perfectionism. Social media with its abundance of unnecessary choice plays inevitable role in all of this. The minute a thought, an image is out, it's already taken up by yet another variation on a style, it goes viral before another familiar story rolls around. You try to keep up, apply modifications in order to stay well informed but it's a useless formula no one had mentioned at the start. It's addictive too.

Today I thought of pulling over and applying a firm brake. Congratulate myself on being wise and see where it takes me. If you notify me universe of anything essential that took place while I lived, ate and played with my daughter, I may not notice. Deliberately. Shall we say, for a month? You count the daily alerts and notifications, I'll count my stress levels and miracles not involving Kardashians and best lip liner ever invented.

One more thing, if I'm not back in 30 days, do not become alarmed, before social media got crazy and all I lived a perfectly amused life. Don't mind keeping it to myself again.

About me

Hi, how are you?

I'm Eli, an optimist in training collecting an awful lot of ballet pumps and spending too much time admiring the sea. You'll find me writing about the joys of parenting, fashion, simple pleasures that all together create a beautiful life. xx

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