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║today my way║























There's no better feeling than doing things for the first time. You have to agree and support me here. Nothing like finding every reason in trying something new, exciting and probably expensive to start with but trying nonetheless. There's also the next time. Already prepared for what's to come with never-fading enthusiasm, getting second chance is pure magic.

First times are reserved for the senses, the rationality feeds on repetitions. Becoming mum again pretty much feels like dusting off well known regions that need slight polishing. Excitement prevails, life gets moving, the chance of going through familiar and never forgotten once more beats anything sour I crave right now. Sometimes it allows for things to be reviewed and made better as I know where was the struggle and why. Now I can figure out what I really want to commit to that will provide us a lifetime of happiness. It may be more or simply less, necessities of course and definitely all the amazing things I've been doing with success ;) I have a list of such things almost stashed in my hospital bag - activities we were too tolerant with Nadia (oh, screen time, I want to see less of you) and routines that got skipped almost regularly. Those I'd like to put more effort in. There are also things I will replicate in tiniest detail because we've nailed them and who can say otherwise? Our routine will match our needs, this time with a good dose of thought based on what we've learned through the years of parenting which is a major perk I must add. And also a work in progress as every child is different and each one individually inspiring. Each one brings an abundance of joy and worry, their own energy.

My parenting style (if I could call it so) is mostly laid-back, plentiful in tolerant acceptance, discovering the human in a child to let it shine awesomely through. There's lots of freedom of choice and creative approach, there's fun and bedtime after 9pm. Allowing a child to be a child - with a stained fabric and messy hair, knees covered in bruises and mud. Licking dirty window on a bus stays too. Explaining things as they are, the birds and the bees truly and efficiently banned. Being familiar with own body and its changes, loving it the way it's shaped and known. A really kid-friendly parenting style, low fuss one may add. This time, the sweet second time I get the chance to read more books and decrease screen time, to cook more efficiently from scratch and go out to enjoy more fresh air. To introduce topics way before the teachers suggest them as homework.

And on the contrary to the title, there won't be next time, for us this is it. Boy and a girl, perfect harmony with a touch of the surreal to begin with. Happy day, friends!


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►► Nadia's creative spirit can be found literally everywhere around here - drawings attached to the fridge, stickers visibly looking down from mirrors and this yellow mobile made for her baby brother... isn't it the sweetest thing you've seen this spring morning? It's made of a star and a little boy in pants or nappy smiling encouragingly. As for her brother, completely unaware of the gifts he will be getting makes me immensely joyful. What else will she come up with next? 





























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I'm still moving around, happy and taken care of, a little bigger here and there, a little less predictable in last minute decorating decisions. I can see the progress in our small space, much love (and sweat) has been put into so many things I can't stop staring at in awe and relief. Loving every inch means getting closer to when I'm content wherever I'll look around. Or even sooner. With my due date approaching, some projects may be postponed until I'll learn to put socks on again. Who knows. But I'm hoping our boy is not ready just yet giving us enough time to make his home his little haven. And simplifying or slowing down is still not an option but will it ever be? (wallpapering and painting a couple of furniture this weekend is on the list of things not to be put off any longer).

It's easy for me to find inspiration in touching or looking through the drawers of excessive piles of newborn items, it's also a reminder to enjoy the moment. A little sleep deprived, struggling to balance and awaiting multiple paint and brush deliveries is actually a time I'm contently storing away in my head. I step back and let myself take the time before time will be the most sought after notion. So in between taking time and pausing contently I managed to pack my hospital bag including everything a little bear would need. Two bags actually. Mama bear is in the picture too ;)



 Slightly related: For days when I want to look more pulled together I put some mascara on and swipe my cheeks with blush powder. On most days when more than dozen people will see me at the school gates... I don't really care that much. A cat eye each morning seems a task too great to handle and it will probably just melt off anyway on my flushed up face. But my hair is dyed and fringe trimmed, I need to show you my simple beauty routine soon. It's really simple, don't even take your pens and pads out, there will be nothing to note but you're free to try. Happy afternoon, friends! x
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Hey, we made it! We made it through the weekend! The paintbrushes are clean and put away, walls are drying beautifully, fifth laundry pile has been spinning in the washing machine as I type and milky coffee made it to my desk in a pretty mug so all is looking good. I even had a reasonably good night and Nadia woke up early and refreshed, ready to get the hang of adding and multiplying. Our flat still lingers in a state as if a family has just moved in, I try not to get tense about it but been trying to take note of things that still need tackling while focusing on my ridiculously blooming windowsill garden, that is what exactly matters at this time.

I come home every morning after dropping Nadia off to school, pour myself nice warm drink, browse the internet while the baby washing spins noisily in the background. I read on the sofa, tidy up the mess we made intentionally the day before, read some more. I crave still moments like these, to wind down, get a little lazy, talk to my baby boy in private. I crave lots of sour tastes too - plums, lemonade, fruit sorbets giving my body what it presently needs and plan on continuing to do so all summer long.

I bough first watermelon this year and we all devoured it wildly before and after dinner, it was that delicious. Occasionally while I run errands, I walk about slowly among aisles of baby products and imagine what would make days prettier, not necessarily being practical or essential. But we've already stocked on everything a tiny person can need and more -- blue, corn yellow and cloudy grey so he can start each day knowing he's well looked after.

And unpredictably, I have become an early riser not finding it sweet anymore to linger among sheets longer than for what my idea of heaven is. Then in quiet hushed footsteps I tend to move things around, water the plants and wait for the rest of the household to greet with wet kisses. What a beautiful season in my life.

But now - hanging the laundry to dry is a pleasant priority. Have a great week, friends! x
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Right now the amount of things to do that I have envisioned in their physical form is simply overwhelming. Every aspect of our lives has been repeatedly revised and placed next to several different versions of a final, satisfied result. It has been tiring as it's been exciting. Right now the amount of decisions needing a solid, undivided attention varies from ten to hundred on any given day with my mind shifting between them willingly. But the true satisfaction is yet to achieve. You find me in my last trimester, the least energetic in body movements yet buzzing with ideas and celebrating the arrival of our son way ahead of time touching newborn clothes and softly polished wood of first toys. Forever my favourite part.

Our small shoe-box flat is not ready for his arrival, at least in my opinion that differs from my husband's but this feeling has been widely known as nesting instinct and I'm holding strong onto this term with unmanicured hands. Expecting through spring makes me overthink seriously everything that needs to be ready in coming weeks and not being able to resist the changes, the challenge seems too great to handle. This is something that no longer annoys me, planning instead of rolling sleeves and getting jobs done has to be considered as there must always be a good deal of organizational and researching tasks. It will if it becomes a routine but the time left to the big day pushes us without our will and I have faith it'll all be ready soon.




 There is a long list of things to tackle, thanks to my ambitious pregnant self in nesting mode. As the walls will not stretch miraculously giving us more space for furniture of a new purpose, a great time of research, studying and walking around the flat with a blank piece of paper consumed good part of the second trimester. On paper it looked as if I would not want to go out anymore, in reality I needed to be creative in finding things quietly dealing with finances and energy needed for it all. Simply said, thrifting, revamping, replacing and finding new purpose for things will take us there in weeks to come. Because this project definitely has a deadline yet if not tackled completely, I'm hopeful and ready to add or take away as the time progresses between feeds and evident routine changes. It's something if only partially finished -- can still make my heart flutter as home projects are never finished as such. Long term projects are therapeutic for me and if I can focus enough, miracles happen.

The magnolia walls sprinkled in gray damp marks and us have so much catching up to do you wouldn't believe. But the future is promising, I have found an organic company dedicated to removing signs of neglect causing all sorts of water condensation problems. Once this aspect has been covered, I want to jump into the arms of something unusual and never experienced under our roof before - among variations of wall paint colours I have been gravitating irrationally towards the dark bold side (thank you, Abigail!). There are so many different dark colours out there my mission may never be accomplished. Starting from gray, mocha and progressing into chocolate, taupe or even dark olive is the way I'm heading. Our flat is luckily a very bright place with sun hitting the walls since early morning on a great day until late evening when the summer rolls around. Neutral has seemed the best answer to this amount of light and sunny reflections on things we've had unintentionally, today in my nesting, waddling mode this no longer is an option.




 And as I'm guessing your question, yes we are renting so why bother? Why going through samples of colours, comparing prices and scheduling dry weather days for all of this? The best answer I can come up with is just telling you I always strive to be different. Not just for the sake of it, or because of defiance or stubbornness but this is something that has always grown in my heart, made me excited and pushed to do things my own way (hence the title of the blog, I suppose?). Whatever sparks an idea in my head has to go through a filter called 'how different and unique am I going to make it?' (filter still in patent pending mode). It happens with every single thing from breakfast, dressing up to interior design. I lack skills in many departments and that's OK but my unique skill in spicing things up is held intact: walking paths less travelled by, creating rather than buying to match our needs and inspire others'. It is me. I could maybe tell you I was compared to others a lot in my early childhood and teenage years always looking less desirable, behaving less appropriate and generally not being enough to match their accomplishments of sorts. It saddened me back then, alienated from my peers, today it's just a weakness of mine, a trait engraved in tears and short breath -- striving to be my own, go my own way, do my own thing in all the aspects that make life possible. Intentionally. Also because I'm tired of falling asleep to a ceiling covered in grey dots, marks and stains no matter how gray colour is close to my heart.

Many of it is a custom project requiring rolling of sleeves and sweating a ton but I'm eager to start, look for solutions with our own hands and pieces already in our possession.

This blog is also on my mind often in terms of revamping, giving you more insight in our day-to-day lives with some in-depth conversations sweeping a little those barely touching the surface of the subject articles and tutorials of sorts. Back in September when I found out I was expecting, the tiredness, the overwhelming feeling of life changing its course abruptly (pregnancy hormones causing a stir for sure) - the so called important and desired outcomes, the principles of life hit the floor with a bang. I haven't blogged for four months, I found internet or just sitting upright in front of a monitor annoyingly robbing me off of precious time, energy and mental clarity. I had thoughts of deleting the space once and for good, I grown tired of too many options and price ranges and simply reading about the same thing seasoned with only different words and filters left me dissatisfied. As a blogger I became frustrated by so many spaces focused on consuming and spending, on living life attached to clever but irritating devices. I needed a break. As you see I have come back, still haven't found a perfect way of expressing my new-found desire for simplicity and thoughtfulness, still in re-discovering myself mode but this is what I'm contemplating day and night these days. With a growing child by my side and another almost in my arms this subject like any other happens to keep me pulling rarely touched up hair at night.


 Back to interiors... it all shifts and merges, circles around each other and I'm hoping getting through these absolutely manic six weeks will prove my good intentions to be completed at the right time in our lives. With all of that said, I'm definitely not done with the topic of simplicity and attentiveness. I'm at the starting point of turning our lives into a better, more ethical existence while being busier and intimidated than ever. But somehow the more things I juggle, the happier I feel and days are considered a small but continuous success. I'd love you to be a part of it. x

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As for the pictures in this post, yes! you guessed it - we're finally in the 'rolling of sleeves and getting things done' mode at the moment. Rest is not an option when we're in the middle of moving things around and being unable to find a simple object. Among the tiring parts, this whole painting walls and moving furniture game seems to be a great fun for Nadia asking to help with everything and anything. I oblige immediately before she changes her mind, extra pair of helping hands is impossible to avoid right now ;) And after she's done, she's back to what's such a big staple in her life - holding a pen and creating magic with it. She did just so while Damian was sweating with the first coat of a chocolate chip paint. The colour didn't last long, we covered it with a lighter shade eventually letting it stay on two walls only. Dark is nice but it needs some getting used to. Stay tuned, I'll be posting more about how everything turned out, soon a little boy may be in the picture too ;)
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 Sometimes I feel that in lack of life attractions of sorts, we humans kind of complicate our lives simply. We ruin completely satisfactory environment around us, blissful state of order (with the accent on blissful) by unnecessary activities and straight from the sofa, dining table or better first thing in the morning not even looking for another slipper, there is this job to be accomplished immediately. So the laundry fiercely flies, drawers bang, life has a meaning again. Then a distraction shows up and the leftover mess in its perfect indecent form is like a spear to the eye each time a thing is pushed, moved with a touch of foot, acknowledged only for the purpose of making a way around it. Days pass, Facebook notifications multiply but the task started with such feverish willingness gets completely ignored if not shoved under To-Do-List of an unknown future or better delegated to the first empty handed in the household. But no, you'll do it better yourself, it was such a great idea, everything planned and sorted in your grey cells so it's either you or nobody or walls will collapse, there's no other way.

So it lays there, breathes and stares like a trapped animal: piles of bills, receipts, stacks of laundry, unmade compositions of kitchenware, possibilities as the Greeks and Romans would say - are astonishingly endless. This is when life gets complicated. And it was avoidable, perfectly arrangable in parts or time lapses or just freakishly unnecessary at this stage of life. Or morning. So finally the consciousness gets its say using few strong words and an exclamation mark because at this point it no longer feels right. What was promising an outcome of a pinnable value, no longer has any value at all, just a chore to be done with ethically and without exhaustion. I too, was skilfully fooled by my conscious, perfectionist mind and dived head deep in sorting out a six years worth of clothing stored neatly and reasonably aired in the loft of our flat. Don't touch if you're not willing to commit, comes to mind. If it only was that simple.
 


 The task had potential, I had a vision but was prone to self exploitation. Nonetheless went for it like a shopaholic into new season. Sorting by age, garment or designer? I eventually settled on well thought out compositions of outfits to take home with open arms and love for each button and sequin. Add a temporary position as a photographer, assistant leg cramp massageur and wading away from the war field of clothes not making sense together at all was the way to give in. But postponing sounds better and indicates some effort already put in so postponing we'll account for. It was fun, don't get me unrealistically wrong. I thrived in fluffing ruffles of dresses while expanding their hems for the best pictures. Pre-worn but still in their prime, I had to show them off before agreeing on returns. I mixed and matched focusing on the visuals and good light predominantly. Sometimes combined it with the thrill of an added bonus, free pre-loved toy or head band securing the sale. But having a date with six years worth of cotton, wool and polyester blend while maintaining a regular existence and frequent bathroom visits was a call for a total disaster.

I had another go at those abandoned, unsold crammed pieces recently to demonstrate my maturity and it was also time for deep cleaning, so you understand. Clothes had to be sorted and decided upon to go through Facebook sale pages or seasonal markets happening in the area exactly from this month until the last empty rack. It was kind of a relief to end up with a few bags of folded, signed samples ready for girls in the best age groups for sheer, sequined and Disney themed.


►► As a treat I'll walk you down memory lane - little Nadia wearing the very butterfly top I held with a tear in my eye last week (shown above)

►► Hey, that dress used to fit me! (see below)


Six years of collecting colourful clothes to find out the hues will no longer excite. So we've started stocking on soft blue which sound crazy and special and unreal at the same time. Another pretty thrilling experience of sorting through in near future. It can be done exceptionally well, just don't get it our of control ;).

Above all it was a fantastic time of reminiscing. Holding fabrics a pureed rice was once all over them can compare to very few nice things in life. Or when seeing how she's outgrown the dresses and tops, come all those feelings of each milestone happening while wearing them - a true blessing in a simplest form. Not each and every piece found a new closet, we I made sure to leave a few of the dearest for future comparisons and sweet talks about the squishiest arm and leg rolls showing off in the softest of cotton. x
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I'm Eli, an optimist in training collecting an awful lot of ballet pumps and spending too much time admiring the sea. You'll find me writing about the joys of parenting, fashion, simple pleasures that all together create a beautiful life. xx

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