║today my way║

What a fantastic time to be pregnant! Or just alive. And hungry. But mostly pregnant with no need for explanations to any of ingredients used in any recipe. So this thing happened. Sometime between 9 and 11 am yesterday morning I felt I could do with a non-obligatory, semi-reasonable snack that my little boy will love me for till his late night dancing hour. Yet I had nothing of that sort stacked in my pantry and even searching through Nadia's bookshelf for any fruit leftovers was a pointless idea. No fruit has been left over since the day I noticed my varicose veins expanding! No vitamin is subtly wasted here ever since. So I changed into my maternity jeans to venture green aisles of my local superstore and came home with so many ideas of snacks I'd enjoy I almost gave up the idea altogether due to overwhelming excitement. I didn't so now I'm going to share with you an easy, healthy and quick smoothie for when you have a meantime to spare as making it doesn't distract from most things third trimester is gentle on me with. You'll need:

Cup of dense yogurt

a handful of washed kale

half a cup of blueberries (or as many as you're able to toss in a blender)

1 tablespoon of honey

half a teaspoon of cinnamon

quarter of a cup of water, depending how thick you like your smoothies

1 tablespoon of peanut butter (optional)

Toss it all in your blender, mix thoroughly and enjoy! (or hand it to me).

Have a happy, yummy weekend, friends!

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Since the day I laid my eyes on you I can hardly take them away. I can tell your face expressions by heart and your trait arrangement at any time of day and night. Today I'm seeing you differently. It's not that you've grown or developed new habits, likes and dislikes. Or that you like to tie your hair the new way, the way most six year old and older girls tend to get complemented for. It's a new role you've excitedly been practicing between drawing ponies and painting your nails the brightest pink. You're still my only and beautiful one needing assistance with things I will never refuse you assistance with. You're still welcome in the big bed in the morning accompanied by the bunch of your favourite toys that seem to share the same sleeping and waking times as you. You're still the one my arms know best and seek constantly at stupid hours - when you're busy drawing, scribbling, promising on brushing your teeth straight afterwards. You're still the only one I'm savoring ahead of time knowing soon we'll start sharing things like candy, space at the table or a hook in the bathroom. I'll share my arms you know so well it overwhelms. I'll divide, portion and slice. Time, space, arms and my heart.

You're ready to take on the new role as if you've always known there was meant to be a company in your life. You're so excited and your heart rate changes each and all of the time your brother is mentioned or seen dancing in my belly way after his soon-to-be bedtime. Time is non existent then because you make it fun and silly, hurting my ligaments already stretched as old chewing gum or pair of polyester tights. Because I know you love him already, the entire chunk of time called pregnancy has been your own in loving. You greet him at the wee hours and kiss him (my belly) goodnight when you're no longer capable of absorbing more that day. He's a lucky little turkey. The size of a butternut squash by the way. And in breech position but that's a story for another chapter here.

Today I see somebody else. With a drop of sadness but a whole stream of pride and satisfaction. I see the very picture of my right hand, not a helper and assistant in sleep deprived universe but a fully capable of deciding and coming with her own solutions partner in all things blue has a new meaning to. I tell you this. And your eyes light up like a snack is at hand (and you've only had a handful of it a minute ago). You know all of this because it's who you are, the very best sister before even meeting your brother. The better version of us, devoted, loving but mistakes making parents. And I'll have you know, you'll be loved in return. I can't wait to stand beside to witness and love you even more.

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As the day is long I could excitedly just wander about and gasp at every turning wherever my swollen feet would take me. Seaside or bit further inland. Cold interiors with windows not fully enclosed in pictures. Gardens and muddy paths examining my balancing skills. I'm a rolling stone after all and you know that. I lay quietly for longer, go about the daily life and then this rolling detector activates and there's no meantime, no postponing and no stepping aside. It's all about getting the soles out the door until no further notice. Winter has finally realized it can't keep up with blossoming trees anymore and that's my favourite thing at the moment! I think I've forgotten how to enjoy a simple walk. Unrushed, unaccompanied, in direction of no worries, no purpose and no particular business at all. I lie when I say unaccompanied, I have the sun seducing my eyelids, time paying no attention, extra thick knee high socks peeking from worn out boots and enough phone battery to be content about not forgetting any of my nonsense. Occasionally I could do with a pair of sunglasses and more sunscreen on my fading freckles; I could do with more frequent trips to the public restrooms but I can't do it without spring anymore! Getting safely from A to B usually depends on my sensibility in taking the right equipment (hello, umbrella, always in all the wrong places) or just being on time for the bus - when friends and their cars are on hand, I can totally ignore the above. I'm so ridiculously glad this flower of mine wants to be included in any escapade that either requires strong legs or just a hat and pair of gloves. Tirelessly, with cheeks of the brightest pink she's my partner in straying around. I'm glad she's there by my side without even realizing how important her presence is. Her observations on point and arguments of sorts. Her guesses, gasps and sense of a six year old humour. The whole vigorous package in stripy tights and milky winter hat.

►► Who is going to grow taller?

With a quick rainpour not ruining any of the fun, we had a wonderful time just wandering. Isn't it what we love best? And castles or cathedrals, old stone in general. Always a tick. We land at the doorstep as rather expected visitors encouraged to ask and receive, our own pace is respected and only a flash photography frown at. We tire our necks from looking up to ceilings and stained glass renovated at least eight times since a typical day of the past but we keep looking. We read bits on the walls about fascinating marriages, inheritors, murders and fires. We look for signs of mice and hidden staircase for when tired out we generally don't want to attract the crowd. And can't wait to be back to our rented space because there's hot water and neflix even if it hasn't been renovated since we first moved in.

I was a bit nervous as to how I would cope walking for couple of hours but there was nothing to really worry about. We did several stops for coffee and rested our feet on occasional bench which was totally expected and awesomely awaited. And even after almost a whole day out I don't think we were ready to head home yet. With rain scheduled for late afternoon, banging on the roof of my friend's car we drove to neighbouring town Lymington for a wet stroll through closing shops and people rushing home for the weekend. Fascinations come and drift away, I believe my traveling sensor will stay activated till I'm gray and grumpy. Or mostly gray.

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When clothes and castles are involved, we're entirely in. And although my pregnant belly did not fit in those slim charming frocks, I could still play with the abundance of hats and scarves while waddling about. It was hard to leave the spot once fabrics started flying around but we decided to move on and explore the place and its beautiful grounds you have to come back to see next time. This half term I made a few plans to keep us busy but not overwhelmingly exhausted since my physical abilities are at their greatest only near my own sofa and a bedside table so just the local spots were considered. And as you know there are plenty of them where we live, it wasn't too hard to head that way. This incredible castle, Highcliffe Castle that can be hired as a wedding venue (scroll down to get speechless over the sunny ceremony room with high windows overlooking landscaped garden and my sweet flower as a Registrar) is situated less than half an hour from our house, not too big to explore within desired time and supplying great coffee always helps. There is a short pathway straight towards the sea we had to investigate but were back to the grounds as soon as my hair started drifting in all ridiculous directions thanks to wind of no mercy. Exactly the trip for easily life taking people ;).

►► I loved the interior wholeheartedly and fell instantly in love with the light explosion hitting the room from all angles. Those two turkeys didn't mind appreciating it while resting their legs.

Have a great week, friends!

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This time we chose to treat Damian to something unusual. Totally hand made and unique in its own way with a helping hand from this site. It is still too dark to take reasonably good looking photos in our flat especially when we arrive hungry and tired minutes before the sun sets but somehow in time for Valentine's day we teamed up with glue, buttons and sheet of paper to write what we love about this one man in our household. With a bowl of deliciously sweet raspberries and some ideas to the finished card, we managed to wrap the project up in roughly a blink of an eye. Sun was still gazing through the clouds but we couldn't trust it for much longer. We had a book to read and wavy locks to wash so it was rather a race against time. Nadia shone with pride of her creation and couldn't wait to reveal her secret as soon as Damian's key was recognized in the lock that evening but she waited patiently until the big day. He loved it and nothing else mattered. Maybe it was just a box of chocolates we were given in return... to the last caramel one.

And here's a little tutorial with my great assistant if you wish to create similar work of art. It's pretty simple and pretty amazing when finished and lovingly decorated. I'm sure your scissors can't wait. x

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► Don't I look like a hobbit here? Before my big adventure - shopping in 30mph wind, what a life!

After weeks of rain, now we have wind. But not the kind of breeze to gently pat your fringe while skipping to the sound of chirping birds but a hurricane that braids it, twists it making it impossible to untangle. My hair is a complicated matter to start with anyway, add this insanity of nature and people start to question my morning routine. Does her chop ever see a comb? Has it ever come near? You may joke, but I know what I'm doing. This weather doesn't care for hairstyles, it makes your life miserable and all you find your sanity in is a selection of winter hats. I would recommend putting one on immediately. That's how it should be done. I'll figure out life without one before spring comes, good hair products and all, for now it actually goes really well as it is. Or so my husband says to avoid deeper morning conversations, zombie-like after he's been woken up by me going to the bathroom fifth time that night. We're still on the speaking terms, ya know ;)

There are other things happening as we go by over here - good, bad and mostly swollen up but as long as I have enough sugar supply, the bad and challenging is sweetly ignored. The driving test I failed miserably at is an example, what an irresponsible thing of me to do! Two serious mistakes, one nervously moving bump and a potentially relaxing chewing gum distracting me as hell, not a good combination. But won't you be horrified to learn I have another test booked in weeks to come, weeks of a baby steadily growing inside of me. How crazy is that? But that's how I like to live, for now anyway.

Fairly frequently instead of reorganizing my nest, I feel the urge to change the whole daily routine. It's a useless craving as it will change anyway, with not much control from my side (can it be the best part?) for the first months of feeds, nappy changes and whispering sweet nothings into dainty ears, yet my whole expanding self sees the opportunity while our family grows larger. Some new sleeping routines have been already encouraged and are going strong (thanks to soft and fluffy IKEA plush toys -- and a star chart too), late lone mama-mornings are spent on Gumtree and its interesting, not always necessary (but oh so game changing) finds and waddling to the kitchen and back in anticipation to finally satisfy my cravings has only just doubled in demands. I can make it work, the last trimester - here we come.

Coat (above): Zara, Jeans: Topshop Maternity, Tunic: River Island, Suede Boots: Next, Necklace: Pilgrim (vintage)

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