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║today my way║



 Thank you so much mum for after school crafty time! What a fantastic book she sent us from Poland. It's so easy to just press out the colourful pieces, follow the instructions (no glue needed, maybe only a piece of twine) and a lot of fun out of simple 10-page book was guaranteed. I recently found an English version, I guess they are going to pop up in stores around now so go wild for it. There was no age suggestion on the cover but Nadia enjoyed it thoroughly. Sometimes those things can be overcomplicated, expect more from little fingers than it is necessary -- this particular book was rare because of promising something that could be done even without supervision. But I had to get involved (I'm a lost crafty cause or don't love to be neglected, whatever's the reason, just give me a pair of scissors and I'm happy). In our spare time we've also been practicing other Easter themed creations failing miserably at string eggs made with embroidery thread and water balloons. If you know how to make those eggs stay in shape once the balloon has been popped up, well you're my friend for the majority of this year. Honestly, those pink devils pop and the thread shrinks like a prune the next second. What do we do wrong? What skill needs mastering in the art of not useful but beautiful? Is it wrong technique or inadequate tools because the helper is definitely of a master degree! Do advise and we'll apply all suggestions to the best of our ability.

As for now, see how that degree works in reality - all smiles and delightful sequels are her own (no 'smile for the camera' request was issued once and that's my honest opinion on this matter). Enjoy to the full. xx

►► Excitement hard to contain when things turn out right



►► Easter breakfast sorted









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 Sometimes I feel that in lack of life attractions of sorts, we humans kind of complicate our lives simply. We ruin completely satisfactory environment around us, blissful state of order (with the accent on blissful) by unnecessary activities and straight from the sofa, dining table or better first thing in the morning not even looking for another slipper, there is this job to be accomplished immediately. So the laundry fiercely flies, drawers bang, life has a meaning again. Then a distraction shows up and the leftover mess in its perfect indecent form is like a spear to the eye each time a thing is pushed, moved with a touch of foot, acknowledged only for the purpose of making a way around it. Days pass, Facebook notifications multiply but the task started with such feverish willingness gets completely ignored if not shoved under To-Do-List of an unknown future or better delegated to the first empty handed in the household. But no, you'll do it better yourself, it was such a great idea, everything planned and sorted in your grey cells so it's either you or nobody or walls will collapse, there's no other way.

So it lays there, breathes and stares like a trapped animal: piles of bills, receipts, stacks of laundry, unmade compositions of kitchenware, possibilities as the Greeks and Romans would say - are astonishingly endless. This is when life gets complicated. And it was avoidable, perfectly arrangable in parts or time lapses or just freakishly unnecessary at this stage of life. Or morning. So finally the consciousness gets its say using few strong words and an exclamation mark because at this point it no longer feels right. What was promising an outcome of a pinnable value, no longer has any value at all, just a chore to be done with ethically and without exhaustion. I too, was skilfully fooled by my conscious, perfectionist mind and dived head deep in sorting out a six years worth of clothing stored neatly and reasonably aired in the loft of our flat. Don't touch if you're not willing to commit, comes to mind. If it only was that simple.
 


 The task had potential, I had a vision but was prone to self exploitation. Nonetheless went for it like a shopaholic into new season. Sorting by age, garment or designer? I eventually settled on well thought out compositions of outfits to take home with open arms and love for each button and sequin. Add a temporary position as a photographer, assistant leg cramp massageur and wading away from the war field of clothes not making sense together at all was the way to give in. But postponing sounds better and indicates some effort already put in so postponing we'll account for. It was fun, don't get me unrealistically wrong. I thrived in fluffing ruffles of dresses while expanding their hems for the best pictures. Pre-worn but still in their prime, I had to show them off before agreeing on returns. I mixed and matched focusing on the visuals and good light predominantly. Sometimes combined it with the thrill of an added bonus, free pre-loved toy or head band securing the sale. But having a date with six years worth of cotton, wool and polyester blend while maintaining a regular existence and frequent bathroom visits was a call for a total disaster.

I had another go at those abandoned, unsold crammed pieces recently to demonstrate my maturity and it was also time for deep cleaning, so you understand. Clothes had to be sorted and decided upon to go through Facebook sale pages or seasonal markets happening in the area exactly from this month until the last empty rack. It was kind of a relief to end up with a few bags of folded, signed samples ready for girls in the best age groups for sheer, sequined and Disney themed.


►► As a treat I'll walk you down memory lane - little Nadia wearing the very butterfly top I held with a tear in my eye last week (shown above)

►► Hey, that dress used to fit me! (see below)


Six years of collecting colourful clothes to find out the hues will no longer excite. So we've started stocking on soft blue which sound crazy and special and unreal at the same time. Another pretty thrilling experience of sorting through in near future. It can be done exceptionally well, just don't get it our of control ;).

Above all it was a fantastic time of reminiscing. Holding fabrics a pureed rice was once all over them can compare to very few nice things in life. Or when seeing how she's outgrown the dresses and tops, come all those feelings of each milestone happening while wearing them - a true blessing in a simplest form. Not each and every piece found a new closet, we I made sure to leave a few of the dearest for future comparisons and sweet talks about the squishiest arm and leg rolls showing off in the softest of cotton. x
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Making: room and creating mess respectively
Cooking: things that taste good and satisfy my cravings otherwise I'm using GPS to navigate my way to the kitchen
Drinking: healthy smoothies and whatever else I'll find when I'm thirsty
Reading: classics and informative collections, my brain will always find comfort in words
Wanting: to be on top of things again or at least go to bed early, wake up refreshed and to an insane amount of energy for the whole day
Looking: hopeless when reaching up or picking things off of the floor
Playing: with imagination and Pinterest accounts in search for ideas and inspiration on decorating a nursery and hoping to not get totally carried away or bankrupt while at it
Wasting: time and energy on things planned and unplanned every single chance we can get
Sewing: the last bits of undone, unloved and untouched before the baby arrives, literally and metaphorically
Wishing: for early spring and easy labour but not necessarily at the same time
Enjoying: long walks in the sunshine always with a little hand in mine
Waiting: for someone that will affect our lives the best possible way
Liking: sitting back and munching simultaneously
Loving: watery kisses alongside loud greetings and small talk reserved for her brother through the walls of my belly
Hoping: to have a proper hair routine back soon that doesn't involve hiding all my hair underneath woolen hats and oversized scarves
Needing: the same amount of coffee, now in smaller cups
Smelling: mindfully and with caution, scent free is my new pregnant attitude these days
Wearing: things that cover me from top to toe and above the ears
Following: racing schoolgirl who thinks my physical appearance is changing but my energy levels stay the same
Noticing: brighter mornings and shorter shadows (some found under my eyes, eek)
Knowing: soon this work madness will give space to time off spent with my family. And weekends! Can you imagine I'll have around a dozen weekends to enjoy? I'm beyond myself!
Thinking: ahead and beyond, sometimes only till the next mealtime or bedtime
Feeling: miraculously connected to my little boy
Bookmarking: animal, geometric and nautical motifs on things
Opening: packages of tiny garments that come to live with us for a while
Giggling: easily when Nadia is in mood for jokes
Feeling: excited for more playtime and crazy time pretty soon
Taking stock 01 02
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What a fantastic time to be pregnant! Or just alive. And hungry. But mostly pregnant with no need for explanations to any of ingredients used in any recipe. So this thing happened. Sometime between 9 and 11 am yesterday morning I felt I could do with a non-obligatory, semi-reasonable snack that my little boy will love me for till his late night dancing hour. Yet I had nothing of that sort stacked in my pantry and even searching through Nadia's bookshelf for any fruit leftovers was a pointless idea. No fruit has been left over since the day I noticed my varicose veins expanding! No vitamin is subtly wasted here ever since. So I changed into my maternity jeans to venture green aisles of my local superstore and came home with so many ideas of snacks I'd enjoy I almost gave up the idea altogether due to overwhelming excitement. I didn't so now I'm going to share with you an easy, healthy and quick smoothie for when you have a meantime to spare as making it doesn't distract from most things third trimester is gentle on me with. You'll need:


Cup of dense yogurt
a handful of washed kale
half a cup of blueberries (or as many as you're able to toss in a blender)
1 tablespoon of honey
half a teaspoon of cinnamon
     quarter of a cup of water, depending how thick you like your smoothies
1 tablespoon of peanut butter (optional)

Toss it all in your blender, mix thoroughly and enjoy! (or hand it to me). 
 
Have a happy, yummy weekend, friends!
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Since the day I laid my eyes on you I can hardly take them away. I can tell your face expressions by heart and your trait arrangement at any time of day and night. Today I'm seeing you differently. It's not that you've grown or developed new habits, likes and dislikes. Or that you like to tie your hair the new way, the way most six year old and older girls tend to get complemented for. It's a new role you've excitedly been practicing between drawing ponies and painting your nails the brightest pink. You're still my only and beautiful one needing assistance with things I will never refuse you assistance with. You're still welcome in the big bed in the morning accompanied by the bunch of your favourite toys that seem to share the same sleeping and waking times as you. You're still the one my arms know best and seek constantly at stupid hours - when you're busy drawing, scribbling, promising on brushing your teeth straight afterwards. You're still the only one I'm savoring ahead of time knowing soon we'll start sharing things like candy, space at the table or a hook in the bathroom. I'll share my arms you know so well it overwhelms. I'll divide, portion and slice. Time, space, arms and my heart.

You're ready to take on the new role as if you've always known there was meant to be a company in your life. You're so excited and your heart rate changes each and all of the time your brother is mentioned or seen dancing in my belly way after his soon-to-be bedtime. Time is non existent then because you make it fun and silly, hurting my ligaments already stretched as old chewing gum or pair of polyester tights. Because I know you love him already, the entire chunk of time called pregnancy has been your own in loving. You greet him at the wee hours and kiss him (my belly) goodnight when you're no longer capable of absorbing more that day. He's a lucky little turkey. The size of a butternut squash by the way. And in breech position but that's a story for another chapter here.

Today I see somebody else. With a drop of sadness but a whole stream of pride and satisfaction. I see the very picture of my right hand, not a helper and assistant in sleep deprived universe but a fully capable of deciding and coming with her own solutions partner in all things blue has a new meaning to. I tell you this. And your eyes light up like a snack is at hand (and you've only had a handful of it a minute ago). You know all of this because it's who you are, the very best sister before even meeting your brother. The better version of us, devoted, loving but mistakes making parents. And I'll have you know, you'll be loved in return. I can't wait to stand beside to witness and love you even more.
 

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I'm Eli, an optimist in training collecting an awful lot of ballet pumps and spending too much time admiring the sea. You'll find me writing about the joys of parenting, fashion, simple pleasures that all together create a beautiful life. xx

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