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║today my way║

LETTER TO SANTA AND A VIDEO
LETTER TO SANTA AND A VIDEO
LETTER TO SANTA AND A VIDEO
Christmas spirit has been holding strong within magnolia of our walls coupled with superior tree at the center of the household, presents tucked away above head level and plans made around unwrapping them and sharing festive meal and mood. I enthusiastically immerse myself in the magic of shimmering lights lightening even the gloomiest of days above fundamentally important fish and poultry year after year, now bringing Nadia along to make her own memories. Because this is what Christmas means to us - a sheer joy of recreating childhood memories through scents of ginger, fresh spruce needles, real excitement at more chocolate than we can hide for later. A time in a year family bonds speak louder then the howling wind we're trying to escape from snuggled in coziness of decorated rooms. Dear Santa, we'll not be praying too much but going to sing carols at the top of our coughing throats, we'll not recreate much of nativity scenes but will wait for a snow coat with withdrawn breath. xxx    




I used this track in a video: 'Heute Mplon' by Thiaz Itch (http://www.thiazitch.com)
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12/30 - SENSE OF WONDER AT THE CRACK OF DAWN
12/30 - SENSE OF WONDER AT THE CRACK OF DAWN



Close your eyes. Think of a time when you were very, very happy. Now tell us about it.  

I'd love to tell you about the happiest time in my life. I'm sure I had such. I'm sure I'd love to go back to savour it. But I'm not really going to. Instead I'll tell you about the happiest times in my life waking up to bright eyes at the crack of dawn. Sandwiched between the two of us in a restricted space on the cotton sheet lets me bask in her early glow. I waited a long time for that conscious little-sleepy little-dreamy stare on her sitting up on the bed to find herself back in our dozed off presence feeling comforted and falling back asleep with her hands on our upper limbs. I just can't get over the idea of starting the day any other way. Ending it other way. It's pretty great to know that on opening my eyes I'm presented with this face, this smile. Uninterruptedly. x

12/30 - SENSE OF WONDER AT THE CRACK OF DAWN



12/30 - SENSE OF WONDER AT THE CRACK OF DAWN
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WHEN THE SWEETNESS TAKES OVER
WHEN THE SWEETNESS TAKES OVER














































Most times when I write about recent affairs I try hard to sum them up the most eloquent way and easy to understand due to my habit of digressing or not getting to the point eventually. Or just because English is my second language and there are words out there I haven't yet grasped. I try to write detailed posts people would relate to or have the idea of continuation, be able to put all pieces together. I adore bloggers, writing minds for being able to retrospect on every datail that passed on, every emotion wandering inside finds its verbal substitute on paper or on the screen. They tell you as they've seen it sharing a lot of joy out of the simplest of things. I sense a resolution coming: to be more observant, consistent with my daily assignments, tell stories the way I'd love to hear them. So without further ado, here are some recent snippets I raced back to for you to enjoy. And as relaxed as I might feel it always gets the life out of me to believe this is what I really wanted to say. Either way...

Positively crazy about messy play. Laying up our dining table for meals has never had this atmosphere of anticipation and excitement as setting it up for all things crafty, splashy or with crazy amounts of details we find after weeks behind the sofa. I must have spoken before about our life in play dough and the food supply we end up with while at it (how I love pressing the mould for yummy yellow chips). Recently we've been missing printing paper from our printer's feeder but I didn't give it too much thought until I realized this girl needs a proper drawing pad or we'll get bankrupt on paper. Some drawings are finished, some are nowhere near but end up hung up on our fridge anyway. Or piled up on the windowsill. The older ones are safely kept in colourful folder for rotational displays. But we're definitely ready for more.

Friends that talk and those who could. That Nadia comes with her dad to pick me up from work is beyond sweet, I know. That it is past her bed time... well, not so. But it is only a short drive and while at home it doesn't take us long to get ready for bed. But she found out there is this black friendly cat sitting on concrete steps outside my workplace looking at her with those flirty eyes no one can resist. So picture me coming out and seeing her chasing it, petting, talking to it, giggling and sometimes shouting. Has this child have a parent to take it home? (Damian usually observes her antics from a shaded point so nobody is aware she's  his. Or mine.) Can this child just stop waking the street up? But the cat is there to laugh at and get impatient with when not coming while called by his name (he's name is Louie). Speaking of coming in contact with others I feared growing up with two boys Nadia would miss on that part of her childhood when she shares her deepest secrets and dreams with a girlfriend so similiar to her, braid hair together and well just be close (I can easily recreate on command time spent with my best friend - the adventures, the emotions!). Those days are here - Nadia spends afternoons chatting away with her new friend Erin over sticks of carrot and soft cheese on a sandwich, they have tea parties for those one eyed dolls in the corner of the playing room, they hold hands, read stories together. It makes my heart skip a lot she's found her tiny soulmate and makes me wonder about all of the amazing things they could be doing together once we go out to play outside kindergarten. Nadia really wanted to invite Erin to her birthday party so we did and had her all to ourselves the whole two hours. She was involved in cooking felt cheese and wooden eggs so wasn't exposed to camera lens too much but telling from what we were given to eat, she had a great time over the stove.        
    
And to top it off every Wednesday I get a little note from Nadia's carer how her day at the kindergarten went. Sometimes it is as sweet as "Nadia has been telling us that she has a DVD with a mouse dancing ballet. She then did a demonstration and when we praised her she got all shy" and sometimes it says "She played with Lego and built a house with a wall." And I'm happy she's having fun, getting independent, making friends. I'm a happy mama.  
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ALL SHADES OF CUTE
ALL SHADES OF CUTE
I'm feeling especially cuddly today, irritatingly kiss hunting and back tickling. A little lazy, a little emotional. She obeys and all sorts of funny sounds are flying out of her mouth as we're playing hide and seek to finish off on the unmade bed pretending we've just survived the aliens attack. It is a huge responsibility to be raising a girl, such pleasure and fun. Seeing her lashes curl and hair growing longer, living in her twirliest stage. As a big girl she dresses herself, takes the yoghurt out of the fridge, opens it and eats it nicely at the table, sometimes however she chooses to be fragile and not wanting to be seen outside my arms which I commit my whole energy to because this will not be, this will not last.  

What will she be like when she grows up to be like tall and beautiful and all? I have to tell you I used to let myself get carried away in those grand ideas of future moments with my growing up babe until I've realized nothing of what's after tomorrow really matters. It does in a way but won't be more important than today, mostly doing nothing much in particular but being together. 47 months this very minute of am/pm moments of her presence. It cannot be much through those years I will not see her or be able to put my arms around her slender body. I did learn a few things while deciding on getting pregnant again, most of all from here on I will try to see our future optimistically and welcome its occurrences with understanding and acceptance. It really is the most ridiculous thing to be killing yourself with thoughts on how to tie your flesh and bones to yourself while there will be other things on her mind. She might want to take me out on a shopping spree the dreariest day while watching the pavement slowly disappear under a thick dusting of snow or spend the last coin to say hello from the other side of the spinning globe. How do I know? Because I love her with all my being. That's how I know. 

ALL SHADES OF CUTE
Four years old in a month. Chubby cheeks, big blue eyes overtaking the face and a shag of curly blonde locks are sitting on my desk as photographic reminder of pretty slender girlie face they have transformed into. She was always taller than average child her age, now when I see her climbing on the sofa or curling on the floor, her legs seem to have no end. Expressions on her face have changed too – they always carry a meaning, an explanation, a cue. Hands and fingers are able to perform tasks not so long ago they wouldn’t manage without help. It is truly wonderful how she becomes more and more fascinating to us each day yet still that dear little baby makes appearance on many occasions and cuddles, mama’s helping hands are more than welcome. 

I’m so grateful you’re the girl I put my arms around each day, N.
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As I am just starting up a journey of sharing life's numerous intrigues with watchful eye of fellow bloggers I think shedding a small amount of information evenly throughout the blog is much needed. I couldn't figure out what I really wanted to write about, I guess serious elaborating is a must for later but after making following more than five blogs one fiftieth of my daily routine I have a clear picture of what will actually see the daylight. Moving from a bit chaotic previous blog to a cosy, minimalistic in design nook over here was the best thing that could happen just before Christmas keeping me busier than ever but embarrassingly excited. I hope this combination of words will satisfy your curiosity for a start and we will meet more often. 

So... I am Eli (short for Elisabeth) an owl - I love to stay up late at night when I can fully perform - specially read or write. I live in the south of England, a frog jump from the coast spending days and months on the top floor of a new built two bedroom flat, sharing space with my beloved husband and rosy cheeks of my three year old daughter. I come from Poland but having lived in the UK for more than 8 years, I can share its citizens' sense of humour, love for other countries' cuisine and lukewarm feelings towards weather. Windy, recently. And as much as I love independence and peace, I miss my family who lives abroad and that includes my parents (however divorced), younger brother, aunts and uncles, some friends from school. Everybody, to be precise. I am a working mum and staying-at-home mum sharing life between busy weekends and lovely weekdays when my doll shows me all her love with every move, skip and sound. That's the reality. There is always subconsciousness, dreams, hidden meanings, the ability to discover every opportunity to stay happy in my own skin, my own environment and any environment possible. 
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On an early morning, early into the autumn on a random side road my mum is posing on her first day at school holding a cardboard cone filled with sweets, chocolate and little treats. She's six and pretty, her life has just gotten a new direction, her heart is full of hope.

She taught me to write and read, made sure my handwriting was neat and tidy as hers and always even at teenager's darkest hour kept telling me how pretty I was and how she looked forward to seeing me having my own family. There are features in me I don't appreciate having inherited but sharing them with her make us special, unique. It always makes me appreciate her so much more when we're miles away. My autumn girls - my mum and Nadia, both Libras, both indecisive to some of their choices, nervous and incredibly lovable, always seeking attention and recognition. 
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I'm Eli, an optimist in training collecting an awful lot of ballet pumps and spending too much time admiring the sea. You'll find me writing about the joys of parenting, fashion, simple pleasures that all together create a beautiful life. xx

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