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║today my way║

poland, woods, lake, memories
poland, memories, family time, uncle

























I remember walking to school with my brother and a group of girls and boys from our neighbourhood every day from age eight onwards. In the summer, days had us spending most of our time outdoors, unsupervised, climbing hazelnut trees, dipping toes in the waters of wild rivers, eating home grown or wild unwashed fruit, riding bikes or exploring deeply mysterious woods nearby with all the other kids doing just the same. My mum was not always sure of where we were. We took fresh air and the open space for granted, it all belonged to us. We used our imagination and creativity in our escapades, scrapped knee was only a two minute drama because others were waiting to dip into a game of pigeon hunting or finding the best you'll-never-find-me spots. 

And then on our recent holiday in Poland where I spent most of my life, my uncle showed us round his neighbourhood that reminded me of a place I used to run wild as a child. My mind was looking to recreate a texture of the sludgy bottom of the lake I was taking my first lessons in swimming, the subtly intoxicating in all weather scent of nature I remember without hints; leaves, pine cones, interesting undergrowth finds that accessorized my space back then and are even more intriguing now. I'm convinced I'd feel at my happiest here at any time of the year making it the loveliest reading/relaxing nook in the world.    

in the woods, childhood, lake, family time

neighbourhood tour, poland, explore the world
poland, childhood, memories, lake


Now I'm looking at such places as oasis of relaxation not a treasure hunt; I'd turn my face towards the sun with an interesting collection of letters in hand instead of chasing ducks in the tall grass. I'm all for calming, lounging experience but don't say anything to Nadia who's been in an adventurous mode ever since. Being so desk-bound these days, my kind of relaxing is the kind that takes me back to dearest and most innocent times in my history, feeling a little homesick is only a slight exaggeration. We met my uncle and his partner twice this time around as their company is nothing but uplifting and so laid back I wish I could create myself. He is my grandma's youngest brother I mentioned here a couple of times before. An avid traveler, photographer and computer enthusiast has a heart of gold and a lot of lovely places to show up his sleeve. We said our good byes to the shiny luminous surface and headed for delicious flavorful dinner at my uncle's place. We could stay longer and did, sharing stories over coffee and home made pie. I can't wait to show you more of what we did and what didn't disappoint. Happy summer, friends x 
   
us girls, poland, exploring, lake, the woods
poland, memories, summer, summer activities
summer, family time, exploring
summr time, exploring, poland
poland, family time, in the woods, holidays
nadia, family time, childhood, memories
explore the world, in the grass, in the woods
awesome time, poland, exploring



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THERE IS NO CERTAINTY, THERE IS ONLY ADVENTURE.


















































It comes in a variety of disguise. Most days than not it finds us in the open space of wilderness of the sky reluctantly merging with icy blue water. Past week was cold yet sunny, windy but only indulging itself while we were ready for it. To see this little face light up at the sight of enormous playground is beyond explanation. So the beach it is before it will be too cold to approach it necessarily snuggled up. Thanks to daylight saving time that extra hour in our possession is fighting for attention in its own illimitable style through Nadia's strong and powerful announcements what to do with it. Agreeing on her concepts saves us unnecessary meltdowns and unfolds creative afternoon scenes that she loves. The open space is always guaranteed to deliver good vibes. We don't settle in happily these long afternoons, a dash of sunlight, sporadic showers can fully ignite that spark for adventure. And of course the need to tell stories, make memories, leave a lasting impression on the sand lets itself in unapologeticly. We feel we need to have them in our life, those silly adventures even if it is just the sand shifted through cold fingers anytime our hearts desire.

THERE IS NO CERTAINTY, THERE IS ONLY ADVENTURE.
THERE IS NO CERTAINTY, THERE IS ONLY ADVENTURE.

THERE IS NO CERTAINTY, THERE IS ONLY ADVENTURE.
THERE IS NO CERTAINTY, THERE IS ONLY ADVENTURE.
THERE IS NO CERTAINTY, THERE IS ONLY ADVENTURE.
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10/30 - MY BEST FOUR YEARS, IF YOU ASK ME
10/30 - MY BEST FOUR YEARS, IF YOU ASK ME
10/30 - MY BEST FOUR YEARS, IF YOU ASK ME
10/30 - MY BEST FOUR YEARS, IF YOU ASK ME
Don't mind me making my baby little older when I say about four year motherhood experience and joy it brings. I wanted to share my birth story at some points during my virtual existence but it never seemed right or thought out enough so I didn't. Until now. After four years of a being mum. Her mum.

I knew I wanted to have children even prior to my ovaries producing any eggs (maybe I exaggerate a little but that's so true, I was a mama before I knew it). Growing older I imagined having large family of at least four (!) heirs/heiresses (was it an influence of being The Kelly Family fan?) and most ideally having son as my first born. Little Staś (Stanislav) would be a resemblance of my brother with his blonde locks and deep blue eyes chasing his shadows on the polished floors of my house. I fell in love with my husband and it would feel obvious that we'd have had child(ren) straight away. But through our foreign journeys, settling down abroad and generally getting ready for the life ahead together we spent six years as a twosome. This is a long time for somebody who loves children and hoped to have their own. We kind of hibernated and postponed the most beautiful outcome of a natural human (in love) behaviour. I tend to blame it on the circumstances we were surrounded by - renting a room or having a studio flat was not a proper accommodation to raise a child. 

Trying for a baby and getting pregnant within two weeks or so of trying was beyond amazing. We just got married and wanted to fill up the air with giggles and our hearts with unconditional love for the life we were about to create. I was madly in love with all the signs of expecting - I looked out for tenderness in my breasts and popping out belly button (which in fact never did, big deal). I laughed at every hiccup within my growing body and chased each move of a serious kick. I didn't mind stretch marks (not so sure now) or leg cramps, even heartburn was okay. They all come and go. I was invincible, my body was determined to perform as its best to bring me the most wonderful miracle I could ever dream of. Soon after my pregnancy status was confirmed I had a premonition I was carrying a little doll. Teenage longing for a son has been replaced by an unimaginable yearning to put every effort in raising a happy, strong (not mistaken for stubborn), spreading creative juices girl. Seems strange after years of picturing myself savouring tight gripped hugs of a boy, combing his golden locks and go flying kites in the clear sky. I guess it's got a lot to do with me preserving moments of my early childhood in a girlie notebook thanks to emotionally drained at times conversations with my mum about a whirlwind of good and adverse affairs which have created my first perception of how to communicate with the world and others and which made me a chatty, happy and smart little girl no matter what was happening around. I wrote about that girl in an attempt of giving her much delayed approval and support. So I guess I've fallen in love with the idea of being given an opportunity of having a little girl myself and taking up every second of my time to make up for all the things my upbringing has lacked and many more beautiful things that has been brought along with it.  

At first I wanted to be surprised by the baby's sex (I felt we humans live in a world of wanting/needing predictability in every area of our lives so we keep surprises to a freaking minimum. Even weather is no longer a surprise these days.) I decided - we would meet our muffin the day it will be ready to maximize space in my belly. The evening before the twenty week scan when we could find out the sex I took a warm bath. At the back of my head I was still battling with myself whether getting to know the sex would be a good decision. And then I felt it for the first time, a tiny move, not even a kick (those she left for later), just like a scuff on the side. Did she know what was going on in my head so she could react to it, help me make up my mind, let me know she wanted to be greeted tomorrow and talked to with female adjectives? Why wouldn't I want to find out when I had the greatest opportunity to do so? I was overjoyed to soon get to know my baby: what would she look like, when will her personality show through? So I found out who was poking me right from within saying 'hello'. A mummy's girl, Little Pumpkin as I used to call her when she stayed safe, close (and hiccupy). The happiest and most challenging 40 weeks of my life abounded in sweet Nutella taste, laughter from tiniest of things, no sickness at all (thank you, Heavens!) and filling up wardrobe with dresses and tops of one tenth of my size. I stopped working two weeks before I got to see my feet again to nice lazy fortnight of pacing slowly around the house and close neighbourhood in the low streaks of late September sun. Name chosen, hospital bag packed, birth plan memorized.

A birth story cut short (for the space purposes): on baby's due date everything started as described in books for frightened mamas preparing for the eventful moment. My waters broke, contractions were getting stronger and more and more closer apart. Impatiently waiting for hospital admittance in a bath tub full of warm water to speed up the progress of labor as advised by the midwife I actually found myself to feel the urge to push. And so it started... in my own bathroom. I barely got dressed between two-three minutes apart contractions, jumped on the rear seat of my car (jumped, ha! you wish) and was driven to the hospital to meet my baby girl. We made it to the delivery room on time, an hour later (yes, most of the labor happened in my bath tub which left me really cross with the English system of keeping women at home as long as possible to avoid long labors on the spot. The positive outcome of nearly having her delivered at home? No epidural (just gas and air, rarely used), no episiotomy, quick and natural (no forceps or vacuum) delivery. I shouldn't be so ungrateful after all) at 1.31 pm I held her for the first time. Physically exhausted and surgically abused (stitched) I've started a new chapter in my life. Nadia Dolores has proven to be worth the pain, tears and dizziness (gas and air). She was there to get entwined with hugs, kisses and mama's first whispers into tiny ears.  

I've spent the best four years of my life with you, little Miss Nadia. x

^^ This post is part of my 30 day Blogging challenge asking simple question whether the participant wants to have children or if has any. As I've already answered this question before, I thought a little story about a miracle being materialized in my arms is an unexpected but sweet option for a post. Do you agree? ^^ 
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ALL SHADES OF CUTE
ALL SHADES OF CUTE
I'm feeling especially cuddly today, irritatingly kiss hunting and back tickling. A little lazy, a little emotional. She obeys and all sorts of funny sounds are flying out of her mouth as we're playing hide and seek to finish off on the unmade bed pretending we've just survived the aliens attack. It is a huge responsibility to be raising a girl, such pleasure and fun. Seeing her lashes curl and hair growing longer, living in her twirliest stage. As a big girl she dresses herself, takes the yoghurt out of the fridge, opens it and eats it nicely at the table, sometimes however she chooses to be fragile and not wanting to be seen outside my arms which I commit my whole energy to because this will not be, this will not last.  

What will she be like when she grows up to be like tall and beautiful and all? I have to tell you I used to let myself get carried away in those grand ideas of future moments with my growing up babe until I've realized nothing of what's after tomorrow really matters. It does in a way but won't be more important than today, mostly doing nothing much in particular but being together. 47 months this very minute of am/pm moments of her presence. It cannot be much through those years I will not see her or be able to put my arms around her slender body. I did learn a few things while deciding on getting pregnant again, most of all from here on I will try to see our future optimistically and welcome its occurrences with understanding and acceptance. It really is the most ridiculous thing to be killing yourself with thoughts on how to tie your flesh and bones to yourself while there will be other things on her mind. She might want to take me out on a shopping spree the dreariest day while watching the pavement slowly disappear under a thick dusting of snow or spend the last coin to say hello from the other side of the spinning globe. How do I know? Because I love her with all my being. That's how I know. 

ALL SHADES OF CUTE
Four years old in a month. Chubby cheeks, big blue eyes overtaking the face and a shag of curly blonde locks are sitting on my desk as photographic reminder of pretty slender girlie face they have transformed into. She was always taller than average child her age, now when I see her climbing on the sofa or curling on the floor, her legs seem to have no end. Expressions on her face have changed too – they always carry a meaning, an explanation, a cue. Hands and fingers are able to perform tasks not so long ago they wouldn’t manage without help. It is truly wonderful how she becomes more and more fascinating to us each day yet still that dear little baby makes appearance on many occasions and cuddles, mama’s helping hands are more than welcome. 

I’m so grateful you’re the girl I put my arms around each day, N.
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It's a tough life being photographer - from all the pictures that make their way through cable onto the computer only a couple eventually get chosen for the public view. Which one holds the light perfectly and which angle describes the landscape without too much exposure? And most importantly, which one of the lot tells that special story at the very first sight? Continuing my blogging challenge I had a little trouble with choosing the views of 'A place on Earth that is special to me' as this is not a place from the first page of a travel magazine. Pea sized, sleepy village where I spent the best time of my life... my childhood. I grew up in the south of Poland, countryside of river banks, woods, gooseberry fields, apple/walnut trees I used to climb, animals of every sort and sound (with the most incredible pet names they are). Together with my little brother and his friends (oh yes, my childhood was plentiful in testosterone) we were invincible in runs, ball games and unripe (hard as stone) plum fights around neighbouring fields and orchards. At the end of the day we were always in great need of a good wash but happier than any child with more toys or shinier bike. 

There were times when I visited Poland and was unable to spend a day in my childhood village due to severe weather conditions or not having enough time to wander on the fields falling asleep well after the sunset. They were the saddest moments and from then on each year I make space in our family calendar for visiting that railroad village to which my heart belongs.  

P.S. Can you feel the ground wobble? It's me dancing vigorously at the news of my brother visiting us soon. Can't wait to show him my favourite spots and eateries. Spring is definitely coming earlier this year!

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People collect postcards, stamps, receipts from their favourite restaurants. I collect tangle of emotions through my photographs and capturing, studying them afterwards makes me the happiest girl on earth especially when the images bring the best memories out. 

Photograph I have chosen for the Printerpix competition celebrating photography together with Tots100 parenting website and giving away a fantastic prize to one lucky blogger is equally funny and heart warming - my three year old daughter playing freesbie and running after the disc with her grandma having the great daisy-sprinkled tract of field all for themselves. I would love to get overwhelmed with such view on daily or weekly basis but it is only so precious in its effortless family fun because of its rarity. Our whole family lives in Poland so when discovering unfamiliar lands while visiting us, they happily create a laid-back, weekend-like atmosphere of laughter and fun much to a great amusement of everyone, especially tiny pair of never pausing feet of my little girl. I love how she is excitedly looking up at her granny enjoying rare playful moments. And my mum-in-law looks ready for everything little doll will come up with on this warm summer day.

"This post is Eli's entry into the Printerpix Photo Competition."
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I'm Eli, an optimist in training collecting an awful lot of ballet pumps and spending too much time admiring the sea. You'll find me writing about the joys of parenting, fashion, simple pleasures that all together create a beautiful life. xx

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