║today my way║

Making: room and creating mess respectively
Cooking: things that taste good and satisfy my cravings otherwise I'm using GPS to navigate my way to the kitchen

Drinking: healthy smoothies and whatever else I'll find when I'm thirsty
Reading: classics and informative collections, my brain will always find comfort in words
Wanting: to be on top of things again or at least go to bed early, wake up refreshed and to an insane amount of energy for the whole day

Looking: hopeless when reaching up or picking things off of the floor

Playing: with imagination and Pinterest accounts in search for ideas and inspiration on decorating a nursery and hoping to not get totally carried away or bankrupt while at it
Wasting: time and energy on things planned and unplanned every single chance we can get

Sewing: the last bits of undone, unloved and untouched before the baby arrives, literally and metaphorically

Wishing: for early spring and easy labour but not necessarily at the same time

Enjoying: long walks in the sunshine always with a little hand in mine

Waiting: for someone that will affect our lives the best possible way

Liking: sitting back and munching simultaneously

Loving: watery kisses alongside loud greetings and small talk reserved for her brother through the walls of my belly
Hoping: to have a proper hair routine back soon that doesn't involve hiding all my hair underneath woolen hats and oversized scarves

Needing: the same amount of coffee, now in smaller cups
Smelling: mindfully and with caution, scent free is my new pregnant attitude these days

Wearing: things that cover me from top to toe and above the ears

Following: racing schoolgirl who thinks my physical appearance is changing but my energy levels stay the same
Noticing: brighter mornings and shorter shadows (some found under my eyes, eek)

Knowing: soon this work madness will give space to time off spent with my family. And weekends! Can you imagine I'll have around a dozen weekends to enjoy? I'm beyond myself!

Thinking: ahead and beyond, sometimes only till the next mealtime or bedtime
Feeling: miraculously connected to my little boy

Bookmarking: animal, geometric and nautical motifs on things

Opening: packages of tiny garments that come to live with us for a while

Giggling: easily when Nadia is in mood for jokes

Feeling: excited for more playtime and crazy time pretty soon

Taking stock 01 02

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What a fantastic time to be pregnant! Or just alive. And hungry. But mostly pregnant with no need for explanations to any of ingredients used in any recipe. So this thing happened. Sometime between 9 and 11 am yesterday morning I felt I could do with a non-obligatory, semi-reasonable snack that my little boy will love me for till his late night dancing hour. Yet I had nothing of that sort stacked in my pantry and even searching through Nadia's bookshelf for any fruit leftovers was a pointless idea. No fruit has been left over since the day I noticed my varicose veins expanding! No vitamin is subtly wasted here ever since. So I changed into my maternity jeans to venture green aisles of my local superstore and came home with so many ideas of snacks I'd enjoy I almost gave up the idea altogether due to overwhelming excitement. I didn't so now I'm going to share with you an easy, healthy and quick smoothie for when you have a meantime to spare as making it doesn't distract from most things third trimester is gentle on me with. You'll need:

Cup of dense yogurt

a handful of washed kale

half a cup of blueberries (or as many as you're able to toss in a blender)

1 tablespoon of honey

half a teaspoon of cinnamon

quarter of a cup of water, depending how thick you like your smoothies

1 tablespoon of peanut butter (optional)

Toss it all in your blender, mix thoroughly and enjoy! (or hand it to me).

Have a happy, yummy weekend, friends!

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Since the day I laid my eyes on you I can hardly take them away. I can tell your face expressions by heart and your trait arrangement at any time of day and night. Today I'm seeing you differently. It's not that you've grown or developed new habits, likes and dislikes. Or that you like to tie your hair the new way, the way most six year old and older girls tend to get complemented for. It's a new role you've excitedly been practicing between drawing ponies and painting your nails the brightest pink. You're still my only and beautiful one needing assistance with things I will never refuse you assistance with. You're still welcome in the big bed in the morning accompanied by the bunch of your favourite toys that seem to share the same sleeping and waking times as you. You're still the one my arms know best and seek constantly at stupid hours - when you're busy drawing, scribbling, promising on brushing your teeth straight afterwards. You're still the only one I'm savoring ahead of time knowing soon we'll start sharing things like candy, space at the table or a hook in the bathroom. I'll share my arms you know so well it overwhelms. I'll divide, portion and slice. Time, space, arms and my heart.

You're ready to take on the new role as if you've always known there was meant to be a company in your life. You're so excited and your heart rate changes each and all of the time your brother is mentioned or seen dancing in my belly way after his soon-to-be bedtime. Time is non existent then because you make it fun and silly, hurting my ligaments already stretched as old chewing gum or pair of polyester tights. Because I know you love him already, the entire chunk of time called pregnancy has been your own in loving. You greet him at the wee hours and kiss him (my belly) goodnight when you're no longer capable of absorbing more that day. He's a lucky little turkey. The size of a butternut squash by the way. And in breech position but that's a story for another chapter here.

Today I see somebody else. With a drop of sadness but a whole stream of pride and satisfaction. I see the very picture of my right hand, not a helper and assistant in sleep deprived universe but a fully capable of deciding and coming with her own solutions partner in all things blue has a new meaning to. I tell you this. And your eyes light up like a snack is at hand (and you've only had a handful of it a minute ago). You know all of this because it's who you are, the very best sister before even meeting your brother. The better version of us, devoted, loving but mistakes making parents. And I'll have you know, you'll be loved in return. I can't wait to stand beside to witness and love you even more.

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As the day is long I could excitedly just wander about and gasp at every turning wherever my swollen feet would take me. Seaside or bit further inland. Cold interiors with windows not fully enclosed in pictures. Gardens and muddy paths examining my balancing skills. I'm a rolling stone after all and you know that. I lay quietly for longer, go about the daily life and then this rolling detector activates and there's no meantime, no postponing and no stepping aside. It's all about getting the soles out the door until no further notice. Winter has finally realized it can't keep up with blossoming trees anymore and that's my favourite thing at the moment! I think I've forgotten how to enjoy a simple walk. Unrushed, unaccompanied, in direction of no worries, no purpose and no particular business at all. I lie when I say unaccompanied, I have the sun seducing my eyelids, time paying no attention, extra thick knee high socks peeking from worn out boots and enough phone battery to be content about not forgetting any of my nonsense. Occasionally I could do with a pair of sunglasses and more sunscreen on my fading freckles; I could do with more frequent trips to the public restrooms but I can't do it without spring anymore! Getting safely from A to B usually depends on my sensibility in taking the right equipment (hello, umbrella, always in all the wrong places) or just being on time for the bus - when friends and their cars are on hand, I can totally ignore the above. I'm so ridiculously glad this flower of mine wants to be included in any escapade that either requires strong legs or just a hat and pair of gloves. Tirelessly, with cheeks of the brightest pink she's my partner in straying around. I'm glad she's there by my side without even realizing how important her presence is. Her observations on point and arguments of sorts. Her guesses, gasps and sense of a six year old humour. The whole vigorous package in stripy tights and milky winter hat.

►► Who is going to grow taller?

With a quick rainpour not ruining any of the fun, we had a wonderful time just wandering. Isn't it what we love best? And castles or cathedrals, old stone in general. Always a tick. We land at the doorstep as rather expected visitors encouraged to ask and receive, our own pace is respected and only a flash photography frown at. We tire our necks from looking up to ceilings and stained glass renovated at least eight times since a typical day of the past but we keep looking. We read bits on the walls about fascinating marriages, inheritors, murders and fires. We look for signs of mice and hidden staircase for when tired out we generally don't want to attract the crowd. And can't wait to be back to our rented space because there's hot water and neflix even if it hasn't been renovated since we first moved in.

I was a bit nervous as to how I would cope walking for couple of hours but there was nothing to really worry about. We did several stops for coffee and rested our feet on occasional bench which was totally expected and awesomely awaited. And even after almost a whole day out I don't think we were ready to head home yet. With rain scheduled for late afternoon, banging on the roof of my friend's car we drove to neighbouring town Lymington for a wet stroll through closing shops and people rushing home for the weekend. Fascinations come and drift away, I believe my traveling sensor will stay activated till I'm gray and grumpy. Or mostly gray.

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