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║today my way║

PERFECT SLIDING INTO THE WEEKEND
PERFECT SLIDING INTO THE WEEKEND

September surprises me like no other month. Days are getting shorter while we're still engaged in daily occurrences, drinks are getting warmer, walking speed increases while the wind is trying to convince me from all sides to walk tall and gracefully. September brings unexpected sneezing episodes at most inappropriate times and places that it is always a mystery to me if they are exhaustion-related colds or too-late-to-the-game-wrapping-up kind of colds. Yes, I play this little game with myself each autumn to winter of how late into the spell my first cold of the season appears. And I mean a super snotty, feverish pants sweating with breath coming in heavy swirls. Then I'll know the cold front is upon us. But each year it comes sooner than I anticipate or can barely cope with the idea of losing at the game. Each year my ballet pumps stay on bare feet for too long while chunky knits await the glorious day I'll check what is going on in my closet (already pushed far to the bottom of my to-do list). Soon enough I'll be sick and sneezing anyway but you know, that's life.

I woke up to a dreary autumn-y day today deciding on inviting my friend for a chill out afternoon with a coffee and a bit of an argument as to raising babies. Then her visiting mum helped me to rearrange wildly growing plant which she called a weed and hardly believed it would survive without enough light for long. It has so far, hasn't it little dude? And don't call my plants weeds as I'm working on it. Work in progress should never be underestimated. The rain didn't clear up for an afternoon walk so we chilled some more at home with Sponge Bob and hot sweet drink in hand.

Tiny candles surfaced all over my desk get along with red fairy lights tangled around its legs grandly. When the gray descends my flat is right cozy and tells a fabulous colour story way before all the festiveness begins. Because the forecast shows rain for the next few days and I won't mind it a bit in my dear little nook of parts and pieces, light and shades.
 
Happy Friday the 13th!
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RACING THROUGH CHILDHOOD
Pet lunch box: IKEA

At twelve forty we marched through the colourful corridor positively demonstrating collection of backpacks and pairs of shoes that would inspire any kid store surprising me with a school ready child. The one that cried her eye lashes out and refused joining tuneless activities in person. The very lonesome one mildly entertained by the company of Disney toys at the only table by the crafty wall. By the second afternoon she seemed to be adjusting so well the transition from all day at home to a half day at school has definitely had no effect on her. As it had on me. See that collection of jeans? You guessed it, it's me sitting on the bench twenty steps away from the kindergarten waiting impatiently to call Nadia any minute to check how she's doing instead of walking away and enjoying the sunshine on my very own! Or head home and clean the flat top to bottom even if it's not gonna last. The possibilities were endless and time on my side.

So I sat there checking all the important websites and what my friends were doing, sending text messages and staring aimlessly at the hotel behind me and people parking their cars, walking their dogs and spitting on the curbs (incredibly amusing) but it haven't occurred to me to get up and stop occupying the public space. On the second day I had a granola yoghurt on that bench. So glad I moved away for good before engaging in more relaxed activities but I'm still figuring out who's taken my space and if I should bring him lemonade to keep him refreshed in those last hot days. Back to school. We are still completing a lot of things (placing name tags on all surfaces imaginable because it's mandatory. And mostly fun.), planning lunches with our favourite products, looking through pages upon pages of autumn clothes although Nadia isn't really in desperate need of cooler weather clothes. Maybe a pair of sneakers. And plain leggins. So hello kindergarten, hello autumn, hello looking after yourself big girl. I can see you carrying your blue backpack on your big day trying to memorize every passing moment so I can never lose it from view. I'm proud you're doing so well that sharing your sweet presence is becoming bearable. And it's your birthday soon and we can't wait.    

RACING THROUGH CHILDHOOD
RACING THROUGH CHILDHOOD
RACING THROUGH CHILDHOOD
^^ Happily catching up on our favourite cartoons. We're excited for school but still cherish our time together. I hope it will never change.^^

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CALL ME COOL OR CALL ME CRAZY
CALL ME COOL OR CALL ME CRAZY
Top: Atmosphere, Pencil skirt: Asos, Sandals: Next
...Shopping till dropping, we'll never miss out on that. Being last customers to leave after two hour rack moving experience we'd be devastated to find out we missed some departments...

 ...Recently I bought so many clothes and accessories with leopard print I might sign up people for private safari. Wild hidden nature is coming out... 

...Spending days outdoors and not seeing all the mess at home... 

...When fridge magnets are missing from the fridge, I admit my reflexes to stop Nadia from hiding them (mostly from chipping or breaking) are alarmingly slow... 

...Delayed reading my favourite magazine then started absorbing it passionately a day before new issue was due... 

...Wasn't ready to cut my hair when favourite hairdresser worked just a few blocks away. I'm ready when he is no longer there... 

...Coming home from work on a Saturday evening dreaming of my bed while seeing all those people dressed up and partying on the streets. How my priorities have changed... 

...You realize you're a mum when you hear your baby's first heartbeat but everyone else does when she throws a tantrum in the shopping mall and there's nothing you can do about it for at least five minutes... 

...Having a tea break at work and reading today's horoscope: "Your biggest challenge today is finding the right balance between work and play." I've just passed the first two hours of being at work, thanks for reminding me I'm sealed to this place for the rest of the day...

...Does reading blogs come close to reading books?...


...Used the best creams on the market thanks to my monthly magazine...


...My love affair with English language: I look for new words more curiously than for blackheads on my face...

...Catching spiders into a transparent box before releasing to teach Nadia respect all earthy creatures to my nervous breakdown she might accidentally drop it and let them escape...

...How many family birthdays and anniversaries have we missed due to living abroad? How many cakes and alcoholic beverages? May we always remember to ask for replacements...

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HAVE YOU EVER SAID NO TO ITALIAN? THOUGHT SO.
HAVE YOU EVER SAID NO TO ITALIAN? THOUGHT SO.
HAVE YOU EVER SAID NO TO ITALIAN? THOUGHT SO.






































































There's no better way to prolong the summer than placing fruit on the table (strawberries and melon, you need some now). Because we've walked past this Italian restaurant on millions of occasions and I've been avoiding pasta due to the imaginary (husband's words) imperfections on the lower stitches of those jeans (but let's not discuss), I just knew I would be able to handle the whole plate of carbohydrates. Or so I thought. The spaghetti carbonara was hot and deliciously creamy but Nadia had other plans so instead of chowing down on it I let it go cold (still deliciously creamy) while visiting the bathroom and chasing her inside the darkened space. You know, being a mum to a girl of an energetic type is sort of exhausting. And who am I to stand in her way? Carbonara isn't that good after all, what d'ya think? 
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ONE SUNNY DAY IS SOMETIMES ALL THAT YOU NEED

ONE SUNNY DAY IS SOMETIMES ALL THAT YOU NEED

ONE SUNNY DAY IS SOMETIMES ALL THAT YOU NEED
ONE SUNNY DAY IS SOMETIMES ALL THAT YOU NEED
ONE SUNNY DAY IS SOMETIMES ALL THAT YOU NEED

















































































































Regardless of the weather and the amount of mess at home Damian and Nadia have this little routine of making unexpected trips on weekends notifying my working self through endless photos queuing to my inbox and producing weird stares of my co-workers at every high pitched bleep. Lovely photo! And another one! Hey, great... shall we get back to work? You get the idea. The not so worrying part is that I'm waiting impatiently for the first sign they're out and about. Generally playgrounds in the radius of 10 miles are my first guess, rarely the beach or the walking paths, surely not a water park in another borough! But yes, bring on the craziest idea for a pleasure of mummy working her uniform off. Everybody wins even if it involves choking on cherry tomatoes while laughing at the images on my lunch break or surviving five hours on 15% of my smartphone battery.  

So this is what my weekend was made of: kids flying in the air and related to jelly fish sea polyps staring at me from the screen of my phone. We all can decide now what looks more amusing. I'm glad they went. These are their days just like we have our girlie plans during the unimaginable lengths of the week. Afterwards there are stories to tell and bruises to show, memories made. So I smile bright to the flying kids. Every weekend.  
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ALL SHADES OF CUTE
ALL SHADES OF CUTE
I'm feeling especially cuddly today, irritatingly kiss hunting and back tickling. A little lazy, a little emotional. She obeys and all sorts of funny sounds are flying out of her mouth as we're playing hide and seek to finish off on the unmade bed pretending we've just survived the aliens attack. It is a huge responsibility to be raising a girl, such pleasure and fun. Seeing her lashes curl and hair growing longer, living in her twirliest stage. As a big girl she dresses herself, takes the yoghurt out of the fridge, opens it and eats it nicely at the table, sometimes however she chooses to be fragile and not wanting to be seen outside my arms which I commit my whole energy to because this will not be, this will not last.  

What will she be like when she grows up to be like tall and beautiful and all? I have to tell you I used to let myself get carried away in those grand ideas of future moments with my growing up babe until I've realized nothing of what's after tomorrow really matters. It does in a way but won't be more important than today, mostly doing nothing much in particular but being together. 47 months this very minute of am/pm moments of her presence. It cannot be much through those years I will not see her or be able to put my arms around her slender body. I did learn a few things while deciding on getting pregnant again, most of all from here on I will try to see our future optimistically and welcome its occurrences with understanding and acceptance. It really is the most ridiculous thing to be killing yourself with thoughts on how to tie your flesh and bones to yourself while there will be other things on her mind. She might want to take me out on a shopping spree the dreariest day while watching the pavement slowly disappear under a thick dusting of snow or spend the last coin to say hello from the other side of the spinning globe. How do I know? Because I love her with all my being. That's how I know. 

ALL SHADES OF CUTE
Four years old in a month. Chubby cheeks, big blue eyes overtaking the face and a shag of curly blonde locks are sitting on my desk as photographic reminder of pretty slender girlie face they have transformed into. She was always taller than average child her age, now when I see her climbing on the sofa or curling on the floor, her legs seem to have no end. Expressions on her face have changed too – they always carry a meaning, an explanation, a cue. Hands and fingers are able to perform tasks not so long ago they wouldn’t manage without help. It is truly wonderful how she becomes more and more fascinating to us each day yet still that dear little baby makes appearance on many occasions and cuddles, mama’s helping hands are more than welcome. 

I’m so grateful you’re the girl I put my arms around each day, N.
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LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH PINK


LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH PINK














































Making friends is not a new term in our bilingual vocabulary yet still the most pleasant task in pre-school schedule. Little girls, freely walking cats, happy squirrels are on our radar. I never told you how I love watching Nadia in the game of befriending others, her friendliness matches her timidity, eagerness for playful dates emits through copying and following joyous rhythms. It lifts my spirits so much seeing her taking steps in socializing with children her size, age or just with those who are responding with humour and thankfully no one seems to mind their full nappies too much ;) September introduces Nadia to place jam packed with books, toys, stuff resulting in a space that's messy and chaotic but in a good way. Shy at first she gets involved in activities with other children from her kindergarten forgetting the outside world even exists. Still that first moment when we say our goodbyes before handing her over to her carer has been a heartbreaking experience but the minute she gets busy with drawing, watering the flowers, feeding the guinea pigs, she's the happiest under the colourful ceiling and those three plus hours on her very entertained with kids own suddenly are not looking so bad. As her confidence grows, ten times out of ten she will love the place. 

Speaking of pink, the big day is coming. We’re all excited for the cyclamen hue to be arriving next week and staying on for many terms to come in pirouetting swings. Nadia has been talking about the tap shoes other girls have and dreamy skirts they float around in like forever so it's understandable her playful use of colour has to be put on hold in aid of small doses of pinky hue. During that time I'll get inspired elsewhere. x    
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I'm Eli, an optimist in training collecting an awful lot of ballet pumps and spending too much time admiring the sea. You'll find me writing about the joys of parenting, fashion, simple pleasures that all together create a beautiful life. xx

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