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║today my way║

BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW


And my poor eyesight. No, blame it on the view primarily.

I had another amazing opportunity to head out for an adventure around country park in Swanage. We started the day uphill before popping into my optician. Almost 25 mile drive to get a professional advice on the type of contact lenses I should be wearing while having many stores just at the end of my nose must be a weird decision to maintain a good eyesight. We were never uncertain about how to tie ourselves to this place - the more strings attached the happier returns. So we moved away to a crowded town but the plan has always been simple - to feel comfortable away because of things to come back to. And if optician is what has tied us here, let it be wholeheartedly. Each time we visit we pick up fragments of things that are changing and yet they're timeless to our hearts. 

We are thrilled to the point of jokingly browsing the listings of properties for sale near the house we used to live. There's never a sign of activity here so we knock on the door to make sure we don't surprise anyone. Rarely someone opens it. The door either stays flung open or we greet our friends as they appear from nowhere. On early days of our visits we were leaving notes on scraps of paper, looking around the house for snippets of new things, the mid-afternoon lull in quiet murmuring of the fields, petting cats on our way out. We peaked into our room, shared a few memories or surprised gasps and went to greet the downtown. We did it again this time but the view was altogether different. The newly built house of our ex-landlords and friends' daughter has been placed where our space used to be. From a double vintage styled room there is only a little nook with sofa and hundred old wardrobe leaning towards the wall. Despite the new layout there was everything to be admired about this wild garden again - nothing really reduced it to give new building a life but it naturally embraced it from all angles allowing the old house shyly admiring its tall next of kin. We kindly examined the new addition - freshly build with all the technological facilities, even 'loo with the view' breathtakingly facing the moor. 

I still prefer the old building, wooden floors echoing our late footsteps, long grass seducing the bricks or being beaten down by the rain. I could see Nadia gathering cats to her arms and chasing butterflies, saying hello to the postman making his way to the back door fighting with benches and carrying packages and magazines I subscribed to a long time ago. What if Nadia was raised here, with the symphony of the sea and clashing of trees, everyone knowing each other and being eager to help. Is it better to dash away from the bustle of the city once in a while or rush to it from the peacefulness of the sleeping village?

BLAME IT ON THE VIEW


BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW

BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW
BLAME IT ON THE VIEW

BLAME IT ON THE VIEW

BLAME IT ON THE VIEW

And then we returned home to rise to another day of the same views and chores. But here in this place, the stone, the sea were cast in a palette of different tones. There's no rush in nature, no hurry in exploring it. And that makes Andrea and her family our relatives in a way. I love the idea of it. Definitely. 
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WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE IN 10 YEARS?
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE IN 10 YEARS?

I hardly plan the next meal, activity of the day so yeah, 10 years from now gets my heart racing. I'm not sure though if this confession is more of a business plan, wishful thinking or a reality check when you fast forward your life and realize that however it has turned out, it's been pretty darn awesome nonetheless. It will have as long as we're together, healthy and not stressed out to the bones. 

I'd wish to be a successful writer with a house overlooking the bay and my little yacht swaying on the dock, travel lands and seas, be able to visit my family every time the need sparks in my heart but most of all I want to live a real, interesting life, not perfect. With its ups and downs, past some big issues and approaching new ones, choose to live now and for those I love. My life is now a life of three people, their needs and wishes. Where do they want to be in a decade? I couldn't possibly answer this question rather than saying that I'm building my life every day if I'm aware of every second of it or not and if from all I would have achieved I could have said I loved and was loved, found happiness in the simplest of things I won't need to catch up on anything. 

And there still must be lots of silly things to do, I'll make sure there are! Have a lovely weekend, friends! x

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE IN 10 YEARS?
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE IN 10 YEARS?

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We should be done with any kind of trip for now as my photo storage devices are bursting with things we did and I mentioned them here a long time ago and never got back to. Between the circus experience, my first night out in light years, cheering Nadia with her pirouetting skills we traveled near and far, visited our new kindergarten a few times so you know what I could go on about now. A definite treat if you had an hour to spare. I'm back after a short break but I wasn't so certain. I don't recall much from the past weeks because of this rush of emotions, headache inducing thoughts and I don't find it sensational at all. This very minute or so things have the ability to surprise me, challenge me at their own pace rocking back and forth between the bliss of a final decision and that genie of an emerging thought glowing like an elevator light signalizing its urgency.

Children were mentioned time and time again when I was still wearing Disney characters on the front of my shirt. House full of loved ones was always on my radar. There's nothing better than the atmosphere of rush with everyone talking over each other putting their hands out to reach the food, laughing and creating silly arguments. All that noise of giggling, refusing fourth helping of dumplings or whatever's been held for the fast eaters and supervised with watchful eye would one day be recreated at my less than sparkling kitchen.

Side note: It is still less than sparkling today as I'm circling around the idea of bringing another child to the world.

Deciding on being a mum again has taken over not only corners of my soul by step by step it's been advancing into the thoughts and words I say. I feel like my recent being has been built upon my body's yearning. It won't take no for an answer and I can't let its powerful suggestion just hang there. Because I could find out easily enough why loving one has made my life complete and how it would be made up for the lives of two magnificently, letting the keyboard do the talking why adding another human being to the mix would bless us with that chaos worth living for. Instead it has taken me from feeling sure and ready to feeling lost, questioning my parental skills. I'm not thinking with my heart, I've let my head take over with multiplying reasons for and against it, prompting my next moves. I've focused on the heavy loads of every day worries pushing aside the significance of our actions being the result of loving and feeling loved in the first place. What it felt like the first time? Why is it harder now? Why do we complicate things?

Of course there are shadows even behind the flower beds making all the visible magic doubling the doubts for sure but no reason's necessary for offering my love and attention to another child. No guarantee of what's to come will be given either. People feel it when they're ready, the space they've created seeks the sound of pitter patter naturally, without much reasoning or outlining deadlines. While tucking pre-loved rompers and onesies away, admitting I'm not ready for this journey again was comforting because of that little face I wake up to every morning recognizing its smile or frown. Starved for a hug? There she is running frantically towards me and I'm ready for next stages of her growing up like never before. Just her. For now.   

Side note: I still love house full of loved ones. Never doubt me on this one!

And come back for more best days of our lives. We have been busy! 
More than anything, have a great Wednesday lovelies! x   

HAPPINESS IS REAL WHEN SHARED
HAPPINESS IS REAL WHEN SHARED












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SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
^^ Crepes Suzette with whipped cream and vanilla ice cream, breakfast fit for a traveler ;) ^^


I'm back from what seemed to be the best mid-week trip though I definitely exhausted my feet more than I can remember and poor back, what have I done to you through those glass jars of creams, hair straightener and electronic devices with their chargers? I'll make it up to you in next life or when Nadia is too big to be carried around in my arms. Time was of no importance, neither was the weather and global affairs (although generous sun surprised my long sleeved tops on too many occasions to not to be a little bothered). Slow paced mornings and even slower in blissful atmosphere evenings were like cold flannel to my sun eaten cleavage. 

I grabbed my cousin and best friend to soak in my favourite Polish city, walk slowly with the  occasional rocks in our shoes, get really excited at hearing clanking hoofs on the pavement, notice the street art in many forms and conditions, then stop at the street stalls for souvenirs and while awaiting our change, listen to the midday bugle call coming from the top of the church steeple. Food comes next. Because trips are for eating (too). You know how after running all day you can pound down a good helping of salmon dumplings, big veg casserole and still sniff some takeaway. Hit it anyway, you know you want to!

SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
^^ Horse carts awaiting their passengers and human statues moving gently the minute coin hits the tin. I admire their still poses and laugh at the view of them making their way to the toilet passing me by like there's nothing to pay attention to. But believe me, there is. A lot. ^^ 
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
^^ So funny :) ^^
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW




SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
^^ Anyone recognize? End of epoch in artistic touch ^^

SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW

SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW

This escapade was special because I went to greet a girl and came home with a friend again. Hasn't she been one all the way to? The one I kept in touch just by habit and misunderstood the whole idea of being someone's soulmate? I've opened up about our troubled year or so here but never mentioned years and years of unquestioned closeness we shared back in the flat chested days and a lot later when we started dating our husbands of today, hitting the clubs way too eagerly and being on call the minute one of us has lost the track in keeping up with everything that was important in a girl's life. So instead of sitting and thinking of silly things I realized our lives are a heck of a lot more interesting together. Then we arranged this girlie trip a little too urgently not to get excited about things we could share again and did just that from stepping off the plane until last smack of the car doors. 
 
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
^^ Wawel - residence of Polish kings ^^
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW

We stayed in a tiny vintage styled hostel in a Jewish neighborhood with details almost taken from our grandparents' flat. Raw but cozy metal bed nicely held my head all dizzy from a delicious mojito my tongue has been introduced to. Notice I didn't say anything about late night talking, red nail varnish or worrying about the views at breakfast? It is most likely I'll easily get carried away by pulling out juicy detail or important message so until next time, be my guests in exploring the city. And watch the horses coming from behind. 

Above all have a happy weekend! x
  
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
^^ Visiting Jewish cemetery and four of many synagogues in district of Kazimierz ^^

SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
SUMMER'S BEEN AWESOME. HERE IS HOW I KNOW
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I'm Eli, an optimist in training collecting an awful lot of ballet pumps and spending too much time admiring the sea. You'll find me writing about the joys of parenting, fashion, simple pleasures that all together create a beautiful life. xx

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