I recall exclaiming many truths since becoming an expat, one being a longtime saying that my heart has been happily divided. Not broken to pieces or replaced by new fragments but existing peacefully in two different spheres containing important portions of my life. Like enjoying morning piece of toast topped with the sweetest organically made jam sitting next to a lemon tea unthinkable in British milky tea loving households. Or laughing hysterically at occasions teeming with situations where telling if it
is banter meaning no harm or a serious conversation not particularly funny to fellow foreigner onlookers is hard to distinguish (I once posted an old photo of me sporting long locks on Facebook saying I missed my long hair and got a response from my English friend advising me that I could get wigs on the NHS if I wanted. Yes, we still speak to each other). I secretly love it - it's the best reminder I'm doing all right in both places, still finding myself excited, bundled with thousand feelings popping up on a daily basis.
But this time it was different. The more we soaked in every minute of every day with uncontrolled bursts of laughter from our curious child, the closer we were to the idea of moving back to where we used to belong. One of the absolute best things about this trip was having everybody at arm's reach, a phone call away, streetcar ride ahead giving Nadia enough attention to fill the entire city. Not only that has turned my eye towards the streets we used to roam unemployed but happy - there are copious amounts of new buildings growing, near and far districts get much needed makeover from people living in their quarters, tenement houses shout with comparable in prices offers. Or is it just my vivid imagination playing tricks on me, making me believe that we're able to start over and be successful on a well-known soil? I didn't expect that it would be this hard. To feel homesick with every cell of my body. Seeing all the photos taken on our recent holiday doesn't help to ease my crazy emotions, this topic will definitely spark some serious conversations or will simply fade away amongst everyday chores and duties. Time will tell.
But this time it was different. The more we soaked in every minute of every day with uncontrolled bursts of laughter from our curious child, the closer we were to the idea of moving back to where we used to belong. One of the absolute best things about this trip was having everybody at arm's reach, a phone call away, streetcar ride ahead giving Nadia enough attention to fill the entire city. Not only that has turned my eye towards the streets we used to roam unemployed but happy - there are copious amounts of new buildings growing, near and far districts get much needed makeover from people living in their quarters, tenement houses shout with comparable in prices offers. Or is it just my vivid imagination playing tricks on me, making me believe that we're able to start over and be successful on a well-known soil? I didn't expect that it would be this hard. To feel homesick with every cell of my body. Seeing all the photos taken on our recent holiday doesn't help to ease my crazy emotions, this topic will definitely spark some serious conversations or will simply fade away amongst everyday chores and duties. Time will tell.
 |
| ►►► We spent a lot of time traveling. I could get used to it. Also can you see how pink I am? Me and the summer sun were always aiming for different looks. |
.jpg)