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║today my way║



















































































































































































Sitting comfortably having legs propped up on a chair, giving my sides a laughing therapy, a headache or an assertiveness lesson I was curious to step onto the ground where pages were almost filled in and story was coming to an end. I looked forward to seeing the backyard where Sense and Sensibility was born. No more than satisfying weather, relaxed moods and Nadia by my side was needed to complete that day (and my friend as terrified driver).

We picked up a small cottage near Winchester where two hundred years ago women enjoyed gardening and needlework as well as a genius of one of them had flourished among Clementi piano she practised on every morning before breakfast, novels collected in the reading room or borrowed from the circulating library she read aloud to entertain visitors and two carriage donkeys she kept in her family. The first photo was taken close enough to Jane Austen's Museum to still get lost. In no time we found our way to greet the spirit of shy footsteps treading within the brightly wallpapered walls. I was eager to see the little table by the window in the dining parlour Jane was writing her novels on but even more excited to breathe in the deep smell of wooden floors, cut grass and see the sun light coming through the windows as Jane saw it lifting her head up from her writing. In the kitchen situated in the wing at the back of the house me and Nadia tried to write with a goose feather. One message to other visitors took us a while due to the ink drying so quickly. At last we looked through the shop situated in converted barn for souvenirs and books where I purchased two booklets with witty illustrations for Austen's books. Nadia enjoyed the outer space more running and dancing in the middle of the garden but above all I loved her sitting on the window seat watching the quietness of the village. I knew she could pause even for a second. On our way home we ate Italian food in nearby Winchester and almost got soaked in the sudden evening rain pour.

'I wish, as well as everybody else, to be perfectly happy; but, like everybody else, it must be in my own way.'
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Between the three of us we ate: soups, meat, vegetables and endless amounts of fruit. Top it off with cakes, ice cream, sweets, crisps and you'll get a whole table picture in this family. We gave Damian's mum an idea of what would be more than welcome stuck to our forks and she delivered more than we expected. Our holiday menu was also plentiful in guests, accordion tunes, taking Nadia to the toilet at least fifteen times per one sitting. Is there anything we haven't done or eaten while in Poland? I fail to acknowledge.
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Four big posts must be enough reason to pronounce our recent holiday the best thing since getting new sofa (kidding!). I am forever thankful to every soul who has made us feel at home/garden and served better food than we would ever imagine to prepare ourselves. When it was finally time to take off back to England, only digital reminder of wonderful time tried to keep our eyeballs dry (it didn't, but thanks for trying). Last day was busy as ever with the last call shopping (for lifesaving face masks and rich in E vitamin ampoules), my mum's residential issues solving and church fair attending (and dying over keeping Nadia's helium balloon at the ground level as she didn't want to tie it to her wrist). When I look at the photos today, smile is not vanishing from my face. My little model always looked her very (sometimes untidy) best, we had fun, laughed, walked a lot, had afternoon naps. And a note to the man who owns the other side of my bed - without you this two week getaway would have been impossible for my skin. It breathes on you.

At our English home we were greeted by mildly stale air and unnatural silence hitting the walls. It felt good but not great. I guess we need a few more days to adjust to be on our threesome own again. Piles of washing to be done and stuff to be taken out from the suitcases was kind of urgent welcome of every-day-reality.

P. S. While waiting for baggage to arrive at the baggage reclaim carousel
at Luton Airport I noticed our black whale suitcase straight away but it took a while for Damian to go and get it. Later he tried to explain saying it was upside down so he couldn't recognize it. 'Wouldn't you recognize me if I was upside down?' was my reply and we burst out laughing.
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While we were gone days were spent in two different worlds: green and concrete. I have talked about the first one already, now I'm bringing you the shape of my home streets and its brickwork. And there was loads of them - filling up the walls, pavements, creating the impression of time standing still back in the old days when metal and glass was rare as tattoos. Any old town with its well preserved buildings would add greatness and charm to the overall atmosphere, I only hope some very important figures will eventually learn the importance of refurbishing works before it's too late. Town life abounded in family visits and made it slightly challenging with overexposed toddler. My cousin and her husband surprised us with a forthcoming trip to Mexico and we enjoyed a relaxed conversation on their preparations and recent buys. We will definitely wait for their feedback on eating crickets and mule riding.

After walking escapades and stuffing our bellies with heavenly delicious food we dedicated afternoon hours to long discussions and walks through memory lanes. Seeing my godmother in a good health and spirit, delighted with Nadia's presence made us stay at her place past Nadia's bedtime. But it was well worth it. We talked in the quiet of her balcony while she thoughtfully gave me a piece of advice on rising either a clean or happy child. I hope Nadia will be happily untidy and cheerfully healing scrapped knees and elbows throughout her childhood. And of course all of us thought we ate the best food while visiting - cakes, nuts, berries barely kept the table on its four legs. 

Once we've become more familiar with our beds at parents' house (thankfully we were given access to a double and a single bed and found ourselves making trips at night depending on who Nadia wanted to sleep with), we got used to to sliding down the opposite bumps on one and a division at chest height on the other. If we have been less tired, we'd have definitely noticed the discomfort they brought us. I was also pleased to see Nadia being her playful self: cheering up the streetcars going up or down the streets, climbing on the curbs. When visiting my old room cluttered without harmony, she kept asking me to take an old guitar off the wall so she could reduce all surprises to a tune or two. I needed a holiday like this.
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I'm coming back with some more photos from our recent holiday to keep my mind on the continent for a bit longer. Among some great visited destinations, this humble allotment garden had been one of this year's highlights for the big and small (especially the small): relaxing in the shade, eating fruit off the bushes, napping in the gazebo, walking the dog, picking beans for dinner allowing time slowly swallowing the last days of our vacation. Nadia was one awesome country girl helping her grandma water the flowers and chasing butterflies equipped with butterfly net much bigger than her little self. First scrapped knee appeared a short while before heading home. The weather was perfect on those garden days - sunny and hot to the point of almost pinching the skin and I don't feel guilty to admit I allowed the sun to lick me so hard I had to live in Elizabeth Arden's Eight Hour Skin Cream to soothe mildly irritated cuticle. And when Nadia kept throwing her hands around my neck... boy, only a loving mother can bear a smile and ask for more. 

A day before going on a journey home my brother David came to visit us at the garden so I couldn't wish for more relaxing and laid back atmosphere. Not seeing him on a daily or weekly basis is rarely bearable so we talked our faces off, shared plans and discussed some recent events. Seeing him so close and natural had me really thinking hard of never speaking English again. Taking our belongings across the channel and let Nadia be the center of attention she has been over these two short weeks. Whatever we decide on it will take more than a day, a month, a year even. I also had a chance to visit my dad at his ranch exploding fabulously through rows of trees copsed by his own hands we were able to see to his undenied delight. The change of scenery always makes me excited - exchanging pavements for grass, concrete for wood and industrial smoke for a crisp air will never stop me from rolling down my car window and yelling with happiness. I think resin runs through my veins. I was surprised to see my dad without a beard he has worn all his life - now younger and lithe, fit for being a granddad. He lives on his own taking care of a huge parcel making it the best holiday spot. He greeted me with stating how slim I looked but I took it as a warm parental concern as I was a ten year old girl again who I will always be for him. There are still unexplained and unchewed issues between us but I have decided to focus on time left we both have to let all the hurt go. We had a home tour and Damian could find out who I have my habit of leaving cabinets' open doors inherited from - my dad leaves them open throughout the house to air the sheets and clothes. He then laughed at Damian's words when showing me how to close the entrance gate while I was half-listening, half-speaking to somebody else that just like every woman I do not listen when needed and ask for instructions later. I loved the fact he had Nadia's framed photograph placed on the table for everyone to see.

Couldn't wish for anything else to bring me more joy this summer. 
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Hello, England and hello to you! Safe and sound I'm released from plane safety belts and less confused because of time difference. It's nice to be back when you carry a handful of things reminding of what has just been a daily occurrence. Common things haven't brought us more happiness than lately. Just take a look at the photos of our old town and you will understand why after a week on the British soil we've been still adjusting to living as a threesome. I am hoping we can figure out a way to prolong the awareness of having all family so close we could visit them any day we wanted. One awesome holiday can do that to you. First time flying with a three year old equipped with books, dolls and Haribo bears wasn't that scary after all. Nadia was more curious than tired after gluing her tiny body to mine by throwing hands around my neck and being carried among luggage, endless feet and stairs. I loved that part best as having her so fragile and innocent dissolved in my arms gave me an enormous strength through the softness of her skin and trust she bestowed upon me throughout early part of the journey. It was neither plane nor taxi she spent hours in but my very own arms.

I am quite confident placing fe
et on foreign soils, slightly anxious but incredibly excited and in an awe of what lies ahead. This time I was welcomed by familiarity and predictability in the best of their forms. I opened my mouth to speak and it didn't surprise or turn heads. We greeted our two mums and Damian's father among people gradually unveiling their existence in Nadia's life. Eyes were on her and her interest revolved around others as well as material things: mostly hidden in cabinets or displayed on glass shelves above her hand level. Grandmas couldn't resist having her all to themselves so this left us no choice but to enjoy giggles and hand holding on the side or late evening outgoings.

The next day we visited more family, ate more delicious food (tons of raspberries picked up from the garden and cherry tomatoes still warm from the sun), took snaps of town I had to discover again. My need to pause the time was greeted with family disbelief (the fact carrying my camera with me everywhere I go has a tendency to take over every outing and soon became agreeable habit) and a huge interest of passers by when I directed lens onto the ugliest building or least amusing part in a street life as pigeons fighting over breadcrumbs. Before lunch we walked to dad's allotment garden through cemetery as the outside path was closed due to the enclosure serious work. In no time the cemetery will look presentable and will be monitored overnight (the only reason to maintain a close watch on such a great space we came up with is probably to be the first parish to ring the alarm in case of resurrection). Nadia then tried to befriend a dog (calling his name and running for her life or hiding in my arms when he responded was her way to entertain us as we watched her excitement grow), picked flowers, weeded strawberry beds with her grandma. Each time she wanted to go for a pee pee, she called the closest person to her and went behind the bushes (what a natural fertilizer). During those two weeks she was so good with going to the toilet that no accident was noted, nappies were super dry in the morning and she even called to go to the loo in the middle of the night. It's more than we were expecting. Coming home we talked about how the garden had expanded, I was robbed of a piece of mind all busy evening with family because of Damian's entertaining skills with his accordion sweet tunes (couldn't think of anything else but to slide into bed with this man) and was looking through more old toys and leftovers of our teenage years (books, birthday cards, forgotten gifts my mum would never throw away just as I would never part with cute Nadia's clothes when she was a baby).

From my mum's flat we headed to the town center to see a thing or two, Nadia was pushing our jackets in a stroller, a discovery of a nut flavour ice cream sent us straight to melting heaven and we bought several children's books. While having a cold treat in a restaurant I loved the idea of coming here with a friend after work or retail therapy for some refreshing drink or warm cappuccino overlooking the square with its multitude of strangers. Evening was dedicated to a family visit with a bottle of whiskey and prediction of an interesting start. And it was indeed, small price to pay for a cold welcome and a warm goodbye (and gave us an idea to purchase our own cappuccino coffee machine).
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Among things that await the two of us across the channel like scraped knees and lost squeaky property we'll naturally hold hands, listen curiously not taking eyes off each other, devote nights to more than cuddles. Time will allow almost teenage affection when all we'll be left to do is just stay very close. When you're a parent hands seem to be for other purposes only and their unclaimed movements seek fulfillment while away.

Until I'm back from the biggest adventure of this year, stay fabulously positive and tune in to check what I've been capable of in just two weeks. Above all - have fun, let your adrenaline rush and enjoy the summer Brits have been generously gifted with. Until when? Next week, I suppose...
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I'm Eli, an optimist in training collecting an awful lot of ballet pumps and spending too much time admiring the sea. You'll find me writing about the joys of parenting, fashion, simple pleasures that all together create a beautiful life. xx

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